A Wonderful Witch Because
by AnneM.Oliver
Summary: Hermione said to Crookshanks,"I don't think we're in London anymore." They were in a land, far away, with a scarecrow Harry, a tin man Draco & a lion Ron. Who is the evil witch? Click your heels together three times, because there's no place like home.
1. 1 The Part that's Black and White

**A Wonderful Witch Because**

**By**

**AnneM**

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Summary: Hermione said to Crookshanks, "I don't think we're in London anymore." And she was right. Somehow, she was in a land far, far away, with no idea how she got there. Everything seemed odd and out of place, though some of the people looked familiar. There was a scarecrow that looked like Harry, a tin man that looked like Draco, and a cowardly lion that looked like Ron. And who in the world was that evil witch? How will she ever get home? And why was there a yellow brick road? Click your heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home."

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**Part I: The Part that's Black and White -**

Looking in yet another large tome, Hermione Granger was a determined witch, a determined witch with a big problem. Her part cat/part Kneazle, Crookshanks, was about to be seized for biting an evil wizard on the finger, and she was not about to let that happen!

She knew there was a precedent regarding the keeping of unregistered Kneazles as household pets, as long as the Kneazle was one half or more domesticate cat, she just needed to find proof of this precedent. The law clearly states if a Kneazle is not interbred with a domesticated cat, and is in fact three-fourths or more Kneazle, then a special license was needed to own the animal. Everyone knew that. The precedent she was searching was an old law that states if a witch or wizard cannot prove the percentage of Kneazle in regards to their pet, then they are given the benefit of the doubt, and a special license is not needed.

Kneazles are magical creatures, similar in appearance to a cat, with large ears and a lightly plumed tail, much like a lion. They are usually exceptional pets for witches and wizards because they are highly intelligent, very independent, have the odd ability of always being able to guide their owners home if they are lost, and have the uncanny ability to detect suspicious or distrustful human beings. Hence the reason Crookshanks and Hermione was in the fix they presently found themselves. Crookshanks bit the finger of a highly suspicious, distrustful human being named Draco Malfoy.

Some Kneazles were occasionally aggressive, hence their classification as a dangerous creature by the Ministry, unless they are interbred with another species, but her pet was always extremely sweet and docile. He probably had a very good reason for biting Draco Malfoy's finger! Draco was a foul, loathsome, evil creature and Crookshanks probably thought he was doing the world a service by biting the bastard's finger! Draco Malfoy should have to prove that he was mostly a human being, since Hermione had to prove that Crookshanks was mostly cat.

She closed the large dusty tome and stood up from the table in the magical library in the lowest level of the Ministry to search for another book. She picked up two more books from a nearby shelf and threw them on the table. She looked at her cat, Crookshanks, and said, "This is all your fault."

Everything was going good for Hermione lately. She had gotten her dream job at the Ministry, in the department of magical law, after getting her degree with honours from University. She was dating Ron Weasley, and she was certain they were on the road to marriage, and most importantly, there had been peace among their people for the last four years, since Harry defeated Voldemort.

And then the proverbial shite hit the fan.

She was minding her own business, sitting on a bench, eating lunch, studying a new case for her work, with her lovely, fat, extremely old half-bred Kneazle, Crookshanks, sitting by her side, when Hermione made the mistake of throwing the last bite of her sandwich toward the rubbish bin. She missed. A bird flew down to pick up the large morsel. Crookshanks, being a normal, old, fat part cat-creature jumped off the bench and began to chase the bird.

Hermione looked up from her reading to chastise the cat, when the unthinkable happened. The bird flew away, the cat chased the bird, Hermione chased the cat, and before she could reach the cat, the cat jumped another bench, this one occupied by Draco Malfoy.

Draco screamed, like the little girl that he was, Crookshanks hissed, and in the melee, Crookshanks somehow BIT Draco Malfoy right on the left index finger. It didn't even look like it hurt, but of course, Draco 'boo-hooed' and 'moaned and groaned' and made a mountain out of a molehill.

Draco, the wimp, began to yell and scream. He was taken to St. Mungo's, give a host of medicines, his finger wrapped with a small bandage, and the next day he had Hermione served with papers that said that he had the power to take the cat to be destroyed as being a danger to society!

She appealed to the Ministry, and that was when her true troubles began. It appeared that she had never registered her cat, which everyone knew was only PART Kneazle, with the Ministry. She never thought she had to do so because, ONE: she got it so long ago, at a pet store in Diagon Alley, that she never thought she would need to register it, because, TWO: Hermione knew her cat wasn't a purebred, so why register it?

However, proving it wasn't a purebred, and just saying so, were two different things.

The Ministry gave her only ten days to either prove her cat was half or better domesticate cat, or find a law, ancient or otherwise, that might save the old thing, or else they would have no choice but to destroy it. That was ten days ago. Her time was up.

For days on end she had looked over every book she could find on magical animals, licenses, and old laws to try to help her cause, but to no avail. She could find nothing to protect her. The pet store where she bought her cat was long closed, there was no way to do magical DNA on a Kneazle/cat hybrid to prove the percentage of cat to Kneazle ratio, and she couldn't locate even one person who owned the cat before her, even though it was already 13 years old when she bought it, and had gone through five different owners.

In other words: Crookshanks' goose was cooked. It looked like he would be destroyed, all because Draco Malfoy was a big baby!

She moaned and lowered her head to table. Crookshanks, who was with her everyday right now, since Hermione couldn't part with him, jumped up on the table and nosed her cheek. She reached over to pet his ears, without looking up.

"Well, old boy," she began, "I've tried everything. I've written letters, to try to appeal to Malfoy's human side, although proving him part human is as daunting as proving you part cat, but nothing's worked."

A man cleared his throat behind her and said, "My parents can prove that I'm at least part human, Granger."

Crookshanks hissed and arched its back. Hermione quickly jumped from her seat, grabbed her cat by the scruff, and said, "What do you want down here, Malfoy?"

"Potter told me you were down here. I've come for the cat." He opened a basket. "Be quick and put it inside."

"Please, Malfoy, please don't destroy my cat!" she begged.

He threw his head back and laughed. "HA! The great Granger actually lowering herself to say 'please' to me, when most of the time she won't even give me the time day. No, it's too late for niceties, Granger, and it's too late for that beast. I have a paper here that says I'm allowed to take it, now put it in the basket!"

She held Crookshanks next to her chest and pleaded once more, "Listen, Malfoy, try to see my side. I've had this cat since I was a girl!"

"Yes, he's your good friend, isn't he? He probably keeps your bed warm at night, too," he sneered.

"No need to be crude," she scowled.

Draco opened the basket and pushed it toward her. "NOW, GRANGER!"

"Draco Malfoy if you take my cat, I swear you'll regret it!" she huffed. "Your finger didn't even fall off or anything!"

Draco smirked and said, "Potter, come out from behind those shelves and do your job."

Harry walked around the shelves, with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Hermione, but as an Auror, I've been dispatched to make sure you follow the edict of the law. Crookshanks has to go with Malfoy."

"PLEASE!" she said once more. "Harry, Please! Give me more time. I'll prove he's not all Kneazle somehow! I'll prove I didn't need a license for him!"

Ron walked around the other corner and said, "Harry's just doing his job, Hermione. We wanted Malfoy to be the bad guy, because, well, you already hate him, but you have no choice. Put him the basket, and then come over to my house and I'll make supper tonight, 'right?"

"Ron Weasley, how dare you think that I could be pacified by the thought of you making me dinner! Dinner from you doesn't equal the life of my cat!" she barked. "And right now, I think I might hate you and Harry more than I hate Malfoy!"

Draco looked bored with the whole affair and said, "Hate me all you want, Granger, but that creature goes in the basket, to be taken away and destroyed, or you'll be arrested by your very own boyfriend and his boyfriend over there."

Hermione started to cry, which was something she rarely did. Draco frowned. "Stop crying, right now, do you hear?" he snapped. He looked at Harry and said, "Make her stop."

"Go to hell, Malfoy," Harry spat.

Hermione backed up toward the shelves, which reached up as high as the ceilings. Harry, Ron and Draco continued to approach her, so she continued to back up, until she was pressed up against one of the floor to ceiling shelves, the cat still in her hands.

Suddenly, Crookshanks slithered out of her grasp, and scampered onto the shelf behind them, climbing up one shelf and then another. Hermione turned to face the cat, beseeching it to come down. It climbed higher and higher, until it was at the top.

With no forethought, Hermione placed her right foot on the second to bottom shelf, reached up to grab an upper shelf with her hand, and hoisted herself upwards, all the while calling for Crookshanks. She climbed up one more shelf, using the bookcase as a sort of ladder.

The tall shelf began to wobble. Harry gasped, Ron winced, and Draco shouted, "Watch out, Granger!"

The shelf fell forward, covering Hermione with books, debris and wood.

Then everything went black.

_Coming up: Hermione says to Crookshanks, "I don't think we're in London anymore."_

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_A/N: This is just going to be a short story, kind of like the Christmas story I wrote in December. I've often wanted to do a Wizard of Oz parody, and I've even mentioned it in other stories before, so I decided while I was working on my original piece, I would write this little piece of fluff, too. I'm not promising a masterpiece. I'm not promising it will be updated quickly. I know it won't have three thousand reviews like my last story. This one is just for fun and is for everyone to enjoy!_


	2. 2 The Part with the Little People

**Part Two: The Part with the Little People:**

Hermione floated in a sea of darkness. She had a vague thought that perhaps she had died, except, if she had died, would she feel this odd? She opened her eyes and noticed that she was lying on the ground in a field near the Burrow, the Weasley's odd little house just beyond her, and there was a large bookshelf to the left of her. She sat upright, looked around, and saw Crookshanks sitting beside her.

"Where are we, boy?" she asked. She stood up and brushed off her dress. Wait? Why did she have on a white and blue gingham dress? It looked like a table cloth! She shook the cobwebs from her brain and looked around her. She saw a straw basket beside the bookshelf, in which she picked up. She started toward the house, when she heard noises all around her.

"Hello?" she called out. "Is anyone there?" She thought she saw Arthur and Molly Weasley hiding behind a bush, but that was impossible, because the people she spied were only about as high as her knees, and she knew that the Weasleys were taller than that.

She kept walking toward the house, when she heard someone talking, and then giggling.

"Who's there?" she called out again. Just then, she saw Percy Weasley, no bigger than a doll, run from one bush to another. "What in the world!" she exclaimed.

"Percy?" she yelled. Then to herself she said, "That can't be Percy. I must be seeing things." Crookshanks was following her closely. She continued to walk toward the house, when she saw Fred and George whiz past her on brooms. They were no bigger than large owls.

She stopped in her tracks, mouth open, shocked. Finally, Molly and Arthur ventured out from behind the bush, toward her. She looked down. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?" she asked. Then she fainted.

When she awoke the second time she was lying on the ground, and Luna Lovegood was standing before her. "Luna?" she asked.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" Luna asked.

"What?" Hermione felt her own head for injuries. She felt a small bump. She stood up, picked up the basket, noticed her wand safely tucked within, and said, "Luna, please tell me what's going on here. I was in the Ministry, in the archives, looking at some old law books, when Malfoy, Harry and Ron came down. I climbed a shelf to get Crookshanks, the shelf fell, and that's all I recall, before I woke up here." She saw Bill Weasley run before her. He was no taller than her a fence post. "Oh, and all the Weasleys seem to have shrunken."

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Luna repeated.

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Hermione spat back. "And what's with the fairy-princess get up? You look like Glenda the good-witch from the…oh, my, stars…NO!" She looked around, turning in circles. She looked back at the bookshelf. It was on its side, on top of a pair of legs in red and white stockings.

"WHO'S THAT?" Hermione asked, pointing toward the legs.

"That's the wicked witch of the east, and you killed her with your bookshelf, so once again, I need to ask, are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Luna asked with a smile.

"I killed someone? With a bookshelf? What? Please, what in the world is going on? Where am I?" Hermione shouted.

"You're in Weasley Land," Luna replied. "In the wonderful land of Because."

"Weasley Land? Because?" Hermione stared in silent shock and deep thought. She blinked twice. She looked down at Crookshanks and said, "This is all your fault." She supposed the correct thing to say to him was, "It looks like we're not in London anymore, boy," but that would be stating the obvious. If she was indeed inside an old movie (more so than the old book) why weren't things more accurate? Why were there 'Weasleys' instead of Munchkins and why was the land called 'Because' instead of Oz. She knew this movie like the back of her hand, and if she was suffering from a head injury, or if she was dreaming, or under some sort of spell, wouldn't she still get the facts correct?

She couldn't get things right in her mind because all of the Weasleys began to approach her. She thought they looked rather cute, tiny as they were. Bill gave her a key to the city, and bowed. "In honour of you killing the Wicked Witch of the East, I'd like to present you with the key to our city."

"Ummm, alright," she said. She reached toward his outstretched little hand and took the key.

Percy stepped forward and said, "I've thoroughly examined the witch and she is very dead, indeed. Here is a certificate to prove it." He handed her a small piece of paper. She didn't care if the witch was dead, but she reached out for the certificate all the same.

Ginny approached next, curtseyed, and handed her some flowers and candies. Charlie gave her a small broom to show his appreciation. Arthur gave her a tiny little compass and a tiny little umbrella. "One will help you find your way and the other will help you if it rains."

"I figured that, but thank you," she said. She didn't want to tell him that with Crookshanks by her side, as well as her wand, she would find her way to where she might be going just fine, and as for the rain, well, she would tackle that when and if it occurred.

Molly approached and handed her a small plate with tiny homemade biscuits. "Here you go dear. I made them myself." Hermione smiled at her.

Fred and George flew by again on their brooms. George hovered nearby and shook her hand. She was shocked to see Fred, because the Fred of her time was no longer alive. She turned toward this Fred and he winked at her.

After a few more moments of gratitude from the all, except Ron, who was noticeable absent, Hermione finally asked, "Okay, I guess I need to ask if any of you can help me get home."

Just then, the sky turned black. There was an evil cackling sound, and the Weasleys all ran toward their house. Luna and Hermione remained where they were, to face an evil witch on a broom, who looked an awful lot like Professor Umbridge.

"Oh great, you have got to be kidding me. She would be the wicked witch of the west. I was hoping she was the one under the house," Hermione said with apparent disgust.

"YOU KILLED MY SISTER!" Umbridge said. "You filthy Mudblood!"

"Hey, there's no call for that. Dorothy was never called that!" Hermione bellowed back.

Luna said, "Be gone with you, before someone drops a bookshelf on your head and kills you, too."

"I'm not leaving until I have my sapphire slippers!" Umbridge bellowed.

Hermione looked toward the feet that stuck out from 'her' bookshelf and sure enough, there was a pair of sapphire encrusted slippers on the feet. "Why sapphire? They're supposed to be ruby. See, everything is just a bit off, as if whoever put me here didn't know the story right, or something."

"I don't know why they're sapphire," Luna said, "but they must be important if she wants them so badly. You should take them instead." With a swish of her wand, Luna removed the slippers from the dead witch and they appeared on Hermione's feet.

"They're a bit tight," Hermione complained, looking down at the shoes on her feet. She looked over as the legs and feet of the dead witch began to roll upward, and out of sight. Hermione winced and said, "I always hated that part. It's so disgusting."

"Give me my slippers, girl!" Umbridge appealed. "They'll do you no good! You won't know how to use their magic."

"I bet I will," she snapped. "I'm smarter than you, now be off. I already know how to kill you, and it's not with a bookshelf. I'm getting out of here." She clicked her heels together three times and said, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home." She closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was still there.

"Damn, that's supposed to work," she complained. "What good are these stupid things if they won't take me home?"

"Give them to me!" Umbridge demanded again.

"Oh pooh," Hermione said. She swished her wand and transfigured a nearby bench into a bookshelf and lifted it into the air and had it land dangerously close to the woman. She screamed and disappeared in a puff of green smoke. "Well, that got rid of her for a while. What shall I do?"

"You could always follow the green brick road, to the Ruby City, and perhaps the Wizard of Because can help you," Luna informed her.

Hermione glared at her and said, "Really? A green brick road? The Ruby City? Why is everything all confused? Fine, where is this stupid green brick road?"

"Right here," Luna said, pointing to a place by their feet.

Hermione sighed and said, "I should be off then. I really need to get home. You see, Draco Malfoy, he's an evil wizard, is trying to take Crookshanks, he's my cat, right there," Hermione pointed, "and I have to stop him."

"You could always drop a bookshelf on him," Luna suggested.

"That's a great idea, although I don't actually want to kill him. Maim him, sure, kill him, no." Hermione added, "I just have to make him see reason and convince him not to take my cat from me."

"Good luck with that," Luna said. "And don't forget to keep the slippers on your feet."

"Right. I know the story," Hermione said. She picked up Crookshanks, said goodbye to all the little Weasleys, and started down the green brick road. She walked quite a way, humming the tune from 'The Wizard of Oz' movie to herself.

She stopped when she saw a cornfield. There was a scarecrow in the cornfield, but he was having no luck scaring away the crows. The birds were eating all of his corn, and he was merely up on his perch, looking sad and forlorn.

She approached closer, and saw that the scarecrow looked an awful lot like Harry. She climbed the fence, and started shouting, "SHOO, SHOO!" to all the birds. She walked up to the perch and looked up at the face of the scarecrow.

"Harry?" she said.

"What did you call me?" he asked.

"Oh, please, not you, too. You're Harry." She reached up and pulled on the nail holding him on the wooden beam and he slipped to the ground. He fell completely, tried to stand, fell again, and finally stood the second time.

"I'm not hairy. I'm made of straw. I'm a scarecrow," he said.

She felt so frustrated that she wanted to pull her hair out. "Fine, you're a scarecrow, you need a brain, and you're coming with me to the Ruby City, to get one from the Wizard of Because, but let's hurry, because I don't have much time. I have to get home." She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along.

They walked only a short distance when the scarecrow said, "Thank you for getting me down from my perch. I was getting tired of trying to scare the crows away all day, all by myself. I kept trying to think up better ways to scare them, but it's difficult to come up with good ideas when you don't have a brain."

She stopped walking and said, "I hate to break this to you, but it's difficult to walk and talk when you don't have a brain, too, but you seem to be doing that with infinite flare, henceforth, you already have a brain."

They started walking again, Crookshanks running a bit ahead of them, and she said, "That was always your problem, Harry. You never had confidence in yourself. You're smart, you really are, but you don't think you are. You have good instincts, you're quick with solutions, and you have good common sense, and all of those things are signs of intelligence, too, you know?"

"Gee, thanks. Usually the crows tell me I'm dumb," he mumbled. "I think I'm going to like you. What's your name?"

"Oh, sorry, I thought you knew," she rushed. She stopped walking again, held out her hand and said, "My name is Hermione Granger."

"Well, hello, Hermione Granger. My name is Scarecrow." He shook her hand.

"Do you mind if I call you Harry?" she asked.

"I don't have a mind, so call me whatever pleases you," he said with a smile. "You're the nicest person I've ever met, and so pretty, and very smart."

She smiled back and said, "I think I really am going to love you the most of all."

The slipped her arm inside the crook of his, and they walked arm-in-arm down the green brick road, together.

Behind a tree, Draco Malfoy stood, watching the whole scene before him. He didn't know how all of this happened, or how he ended up in this spell with her, but he knew one thing, it was the perfect vehicle for him to finally tell her what he really felt for her, without getting hurt. He could also find out what she felt for him. If he wasn't mistaken, in the movie, Dorothy runs into the 'tin man' next.

So Draco needed to find the tin man before she did. He ran through the woods and came upon a woodsman's cottage. He saw a tin man, who looked a lot like that stupid Oliver Wood. He was frozen solid, rusted over completely. A simple spell sent 'that' tin man into the cottage, and Draco readied himself for the arrival of Hermione and Harry.


	3. 3 The Part with the Heartless Bastard

**Chapter Three: The Part with the Heartless Bastard, AKA Draco Malfoy or the Tin Man:**

Draco wasn't very familiar with the movie, 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'. He had seen it only once, very recently. After all, it was an old Muggle movie, so why would he be familiar with it? He had also read the book, also only once, also rather recently, but once was enough for him to form the opinion that the author, a chap by the name of Frank L Baum, was a warped, twisted, sick man. In other words, he felt the man was a kindred spirit.

One thing he knew was that Hermione Granger knew the story very well. Just two weeks ago, right before her beast of a cat bit his finger, he was at the Ministry and he overheard her telling a coworker that it was one of her favourite movies, and that she had also enjoyed the book as a child. She said that she often thought of people in her life as resembling characters from both.

When the witch she was talking with asked her to elaborate, she said, "Well, I've always thought of Harry as the scarecrow, smart as can be, but not confident that he is. Of course, Ron would be the cowardly lion,'" to which the other witch laughed, having Hermione add, "But of course." Draco didn't know what that meant at the time, even when the laughter ended and she said, "I thought that back when we were searching for the Horcruxes and he left Harry and me." Draco watched the movie right after that and immediately knew what she meant. She meant Ron Weasley was chicken shite.

Then, that fateful day, she said something that really shocked him, though he was in the dark as to what she meant about the next statement until he watched the movie days later. She said, "And of course, Draco Malfoy always reminded me of the tin man. He's not evil, per se, he just has no heart. He's cold and hard on the outside, for all intents and purposes, but I swear, somewhere, down deep, somewhere in that puffed out chest, there has to be a heart. I only wish I could prove it."

The other witch asked Hermione why it mattered if Draco had a heart or not. Draco waited patiently for the answer to that question as well. She was silent for a moment and then said, "Because I'd hate to think that I've wasted ten years of my life having a crush on a man who doesn't even have the capacity to love."

Both witches laughed and walked on. Draco stood behind the door where he was hiding in utter and total shock. She had a crush on him? For ten years? Well hell, he'd had a crush on her for twelve, so take that, Hermione Granger.

He immediately rented the Muggle movie, read the book, and then concluded one thing: Hermione Granger was a nutcase, but by golly, she was a nutcase that had a crush on him, so he was going to steal her away from her cowardly boyfriend, if for no other reason than the fact that he wanted to do so. Oh, and that he liked her back.

That was when he came up with his plan regarding her cat. He certainly didn't plan on the beast biting his finger…no, the mangy beast did that all on its own. Afterwards, though, he saw the parallel to the movie, and he thought he would play a sort of trick on her, only she took everything so seriously. What started as a way for him to infiltrate her heart, turned into a war of sorts, as she began to pour over law books, and ancient tomes, and consulting solicitors. Of course he had to play along, so he had to file a true complaint against her and the ugly old beast. Still, he had no intention of actually destroying the stupid thing.

Then everything snowballed out of control. That morning, when he found her in the archives of the Ministry, and he had come with the basket to collect the cat, he never intended to really take it. What he had intended to do was to draw her attention to the parallels between their 'real life' and 'his favourite Muggle Movie' as a way to show her that they had a lot in common, and to open a line of communication. Then he would have a change of heart, tell her she could keep her cat, if she would go out with him, and all would undoubtedly be well.

But then he met Potter in the lifts, and Potter began to call Draco all sorts of foul names, and began to threaten him for daring to threaten his best friend's cat, and merely because of his hatred for Potter, he decided to really take the cat.

He informed Potter that it was Potter's job to uphold the law. He informed Potter that he was on his way down to get the cat as they spoke, and he could either help him, or arrest his best friend, one or the other. Then, to make matters even worse, that stupid Weaslebee entered the lifts, making more threats.

By that time, Malfoy had, had enough of both of them. He told them both to go to hell. He left them out in the hall, entered the old archival room, and told Granger to give him the cat. He was scared shiteless. He didn't know what to do with the cat once he had it. He could tell she hated him at that moment. He tried to act nonchalant about it all, even though it was tearing him up inside. He knew he was ruining everything but he didn't know how to stop it.

Then, to top it all off, Potter and Weasley joined the fray, and told her she would be arrested if she didn't hand over the cat, the stupid morons, which made her cry. He hated to see her cry. He really did. The silly creature cried, then chased after her beast of a cat, then the bookshelf she was on began to wobble.

Potter made a strangled sort of noise, and Weasley swore an oath and stepped back, (can anyone spell 'chicken shite'?) but only Draco reached out for her. He ran forward, yelled, "Watch out, Granger!" and grabbed the edge of her skirt just as the whole shelf toppled over.

The next thing he knew, he was waking up here in "Dreamland" and he had a hell of a headache. He saw that she was unconscious. He tried to revive her, and had only just begun, when the oddest thing occurred. All these little people began to run around them. He had to admit, they frightened him a bit. There was just so much ginger hair a man could abide!

He ran and hid, and watched as she finally came to her senses. He also watched as she dealt with them and with a Looney Lovegood look-a-like with her usual aplomb. Hell, she even threatened to drop a bookshelf on a mirror image of Umbridge! He almost laughed out loud at that!

Even though he had only watched the movie once, he knew, just as well as she did, that some things were slightly off in this alternative universe. The brick road was the wrong colour, her shoes were the wrong colour, and heaven help them all, but Potter was there as the scarecrow, just as Hermione told her friend a few weeks before.

Draco didn't know if this was a spell, or a mass delirium, but he knew that the only ones who seemed to know it wasn't real was Hermione and he, and even she didn't know that he knew, so he was at an advantage. Didn't she say that he reminded her of the tin man…no heart, in deed?

He ran to find the woodsman cottage, knowing that was the next part in the movie. He expected to find the orchard beside the cottage empty, but another tin man was taking his place, and it looked a lot like that stupid Quidditch player, Oliver Wood. Well, no matter. Draco had his wand, and could only assume magic worked here. He popped the other tin man into the cottage, transfigured his own usual black attire into a solid silver suit made of rusted tin, and very uncomfortable at that, and he popped a stupid funnel on his head and waited, in a stiff and unnatural pose for Granger to come along. If she thought he had no heart, he would just have to prove her otherwise.

Hermione and Harry continued walking until they came upon a dense little wooded area, an orchard. Hermione said, "I could use a snack. Would you like an apple, Harry?"

The scarecrow smiled at her and said, "Let me get them for us." He walked to a low lying branch and plucked a red, round, beautiful apple from the stem. He presented it to Hermione.

She smiled and said, "Thank you." He reached up to pick another one for himself when something hit him on the side of the head.

"Ouch!" Harry rubbed the side of his sawdust, stuffed head and said, "I think that tree just threw an apple at me."

"For goodness sakes, of course it did, I forgot this stupid part," Hermione said. She walked up to the tree and said, "You stop it this instant or I'll hex all your leaves off, give you a bad case of wood rot, and fill all your apples with worms. I have a wand, I'm angry, and I'll do it!"

Draco turned his head slightly and grinned at her tenacity. She reached up to the nasty tree and plucked another apple. She handed it to Harry and said, "Here you go, Harry." She started to walk away when the tree threw an apple right at her, hitting her hard on the bum.

"HEY!" she shouted, rubbing the spot the apple hit. She picked up the apple from the ground, and threw it back at the tree. Soon, that tree, as well as others, started throwing apples at her and Harry. They were sorely outnumbered, so they ran down the path, picking up the thrown apples, and putting them into her basket until it was filled.

She reached for one that rolled off the path, when she spied a tin shoe. Just as in the movie, she knocked on the shoe. She was almost afraid to look up. She stood slowly, letting her eyes travel just as slowly up the body of the tin man. When she got to the face she was in shock.

She dropped her basket, grabbed the shoulders of the tin man, stared right in its eyes and then screamed as loudly as she could.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Great, now Draco Malfoy was deaf as well as frozen solid.

Harry ran toward the pair, just as she was backing away from the tin man. "What's wrong, Hermione?"

She pointed at the tin man and said, "NO! NO! NO! NO!!" She closed her eyes tightly and yelled once more, "NO! Please, let me open my eyes, and have someone else be here, please!" She opened her eyes, saw a frozen Draco Malfoy in front of her still and promptly screamed again. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

She turned to the scarecrow, threw her arms around him and said, "Take me away from this terrible, terrible place, okay?"

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, you know what, we need to get back on the road, or we'll be late for something, I don't know what, but something." She picked up her cat in one arm, her basket in the other, and stomped off.

Harry remained by the tin man, who was trying to communicate to him. Hermione turned back around and said, "Oh, Harry, don't try to talk to it. It's evil! It might warp your mind!"

"But I think he's rusted," Harry said. "There's an oil can here. Perhaps we could loosen him up a bit." He bent down and picked up an oil can right next to the tin man's feet.

She dropped her cat and basket, ran up to Harry, and slapped his hand away from the oil can, and said, "Oh, you don't have a brain, so what do you know about it? Do you even know what rusted means? Frankly, tin men love rust. They thrive on it. It's their whole goal in life, to be rusted. He's achieved his goal…do you want to ruin it for him?" She grabbed the scarecrow's hand and began to pull him away from the tin man.

Then she heard it, softly, but clearly, "Oil can."

She dropped Harry's hand and turned back to the tin man. She walked up to him, looked him in the eyes and said, "Please, I hope to goodness you didn't just say, 'oil can'."

"Oil can," he managed to squeak out the second time, barely moving his mouth. She dropped her head onto his tin chest, and banged it against it three times in utter defeat. Bang, bang, bang…it sounded completely hollow. She looked up again and said, "I swear, tin man, if you end up acting like Draco Malfoy in any way, shape or form, if you call me mudblood even once, or if you try to take my cat, I'll throw the bucket of water on you, instead of the witch, which will rust you back up in a heartbeat, not that you know what a heartbeat is. Do you understand?"

He knew he wasn't meant to answer. He remained quiet, actually quite amused by her antics. She held out her hand and said, "Hand me the oil can, Harry." He did, and she began to place oil along the seams of the tin suit, and across hands and feet, leaving his jaw and mouth for last.

She stood back and watched him as he began to move. She handed the oil can back to Harry, who placed it in her basket. She waited for the tin man to say 'thank you'.

Instead he said, "It's about bloody time, woman. Did you want me to stay rusted there forever? My stars, to think, everyone thinks I'm the heartless one, when apparently, you're more heartless than me!"

She turned to Harry and said, "I knew it. He's evil and he doesn't have a heart."

Harry smiled and said, "Well, maybe he can come with us to see the Wizard, and he can get him a heart, while he gets me a brain, and helps you find a way home, Hermione."

Draco threw his arm around her shoulders and said, "I think that's a capital idea, Hermione. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get your arse in gear, sweetheart. We don't have all day."

She frowned, and then groaned. This daydream just turned into the nightmare from hell.


	4. 4 The Part Where the Witch Comes Back

**Chapter 4: The Part Where the Witch Comes Back**

Draco threw his arm around her shoulders and said, "I think that's a capital idea. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get your arse in gear, Sweetheart. We don't have all day."

Hermione sighed, frowned, and then groaned aloud. This was some type of black magic she was under and she had to find a way out of it. It had to have something to do with the conversation she had with her friend at work a couple of weeks ago. She had told the woman that she loved the movie, 'The Wizard of Oz' when she was younger, and then proceeded to tell her who each of the characters reminded her of, and she had to mention that Draco reminded her of the tin man, and now it was all coming true. Why did she have such a big mouth?

So either this was a product of her own mind, which meant she was going mad, or it was some sort of illusion spell, or she was under some sort of dark, evil magic. However, who would hate her enough to place her under such a dark spell? The only person would be the man who stood beside her right now, but he wouldn't know about her fondness (now hatred) of this beloved childhood story.

He still had his arm around her shoulders, and he was smiling like a loon. She hunched her shoulders, moved from his grasp and said, "Listen here, Malfoy, if we let you come with us, there are some ground rules, do you understand?"

"Who's Malfoy?" he asked.

The Scarecrow leaned forward and said, "She likes to give us new names, so I assume that's her name for you. She named me 'Harry', even though I told her my name was 'Scarecrow'. Nice to meet you." Harry held out his hand to Draco.

Draco tried not to sneer as he reached out and shook the scarecrow's hand. He shook it and said, "Charmed, I'm sure." He looked back at Hermione and said, "And what's your name, Sweetheart?"

"That's rule number one," she spat, tapping his hollow chest with her finger, the sound echoing in the air. "You may not be condescending to me, to Harry, or to anyone."

"How was calling you Sweetheart being condescending? I don't know your name yet, Sweetheart, so I was merely calling you 'Sweetheart', Sweetheart." He smiled.

She snarled again. "My name is Hermione, and you may call me that or Granger, because frankly, that's what you usually call me."

"I usually call you something?" he asked. "Bloody hell woman, I just met you, how could I usually call you anything?" He looked at Harry and asked, "Are you sure she's not the one in need of a brain?"

Hermione stepped between Draco and Harry and said, "Rule number two, I'll call you whatever I please, but it will probably be Malfoy, but it might be Draco, and I'll do it because I want to, and I don't have to explain myself to you!"

He held up his hands in defense and said, "Fine, fine, call me whatever you please."

"Rule three," she started only to have him put his hand over her mouth.

"How many more rules?" he asked. She placed his wrist in her hand, pulled his hand away from her mouth and stared at him with daggers in her eyes.

"Don't touch me, rule three." She dropped his hand. She turned and started walking. He and Harry followed. "Rule four, don't call me Mudblood."

"What's a Mudblood?" Harry asked.

"Never you mind, Harry," she said, looking over her shoulder. "Rule Six, I'm the boss. You do as I say no arguments."

"You forgot rule five," Draco said, running to catch up with her. He was soon standing beside her.

"No I didn't," she argued.

Harry came to her other side and said, "I think you did."

She faced him and said, "I thought you didn't think, hence the reason you need a brain. And I didn't forget five." She stopped and thought for a moment, closed her eyes, placed a hand over her face and mumbled to herself, "Damn, I forgot five."

She started walking backwards, the men following her, and she said, "Fine, omitted rule five, don't bother my cat. I mean it Malfoy. If you had just left my cat alone in the first place, and not tried to take it from me, none of this would have happened. I know he bit your finger, and I'm profoundly sorry for that, and if you had just been reasonable and let me apologized in the first place, then none of this would have happened."

"I thought you said none of this would have happened if I had just left your cat alone. Now you say none of this would have happened if I had just accepted your apology. Which is it, Sweetheart? Frankly, you're confusing me. I don't even know what in the blazes you're talking about, and I don't even see a cat." Draco stopped walking and looked around. Where was the stupid cat?

Hermione, who was still walking backwards, facing the men, stopped as well. Harry ran right into her. "Have you seen my cat?" she asked Harry.

"Not since we started picking up the apples," he answered.

She started to run back to the small grove of trees, calling her cat's name. "Crookshanks! Where are you?" She continued to run. "Great, this whole thing started because I didn't want to lose him, then I come here and lose him. Crookshanks!"

They came upon a small shed, and the cat was in front of it, hissing, staring up at the roof. Hermione didn't notice the witch on the top of the shed. She ran right toward her cat, as did Harry. Draco stopped in his tracks, because the ugliest thing he had ever seen was on the pitch of the small shed: A green Dolores Umbridge in a black witch's garb, holding a broom in one hand, and a fireball in the other.

"Watch out!" he warned.

Hermione scooped Crookshanks into her arms, just as Harry pulled them both away from the shed. Umbridge shouted, "I'm going to give you one chance, you little Mudblood, to give me those sapphire slippers, or watch your little straw friend go up in smoke!"

"Don't do it, Hermione," Harry said, pulling her toward him. "I'm not afraid of that old wind bag."

Draco ran toward the pair and said, "Why are the shoes sapphire?"

Hermione looked at him and said, "I know! Everything is all wrong! The road is green brick, the city is Ruby City, and the shoes are sapphire!"

"Stop talking!" Umbridge shouted. "Just give me my shoes, or I'll torch the dumb one!"

Hermione pushed Crookshanks into Draco's hands, (he quickly dropped him) and she approached the shed. "Listen you stupid, horrible, ugly, old witch! You'll do nothing of the kind! I already told you, I know how this story ends, I could kill you with one little Augamenti spell, so go away and leave us alone!"

The old witch screamed and threw the fireball at the scarecrow. His sleeve quickly began to burn. He took off his hat and began to beat at the flame. Hermione dropped the basket, pulled out her wand, and said, "Augamenti," toward his sleeve, so that water would come out of her wand to put out the flame, but nothing happened. She wondered why. She tried again, and still nothing happened. Had she performed any magic since she had gotten here?

She couldn't think of that now, because Harry had started to scream, and he seemed to be in pain. Without thinking, she dropped her wand and with that hand, she too began to beat at the flames, but she quickly burnt her hand and she cried out in pain.

Draco pulled her aside, pulled off his hat, and snuffed out the flames on Harry's arm. The witch was already gone from the roof. Harry, who was made of straw so he wasn't hurt, walked over to Hermione and said, "Don't cry, Hermione, I'm okay. She didn't hurt me."

"You idiot," Draco leveled, pushing Harry aside. "She burned her hand trying to put you out, wanker." He pushed her toward a fallen tree. She sat down and he knelt beside her, took her injured hand in both of his and said, "It's not too bad, just red." He put the burnt hand against the coldness of his tin chest, then looked over at Harry and said, "I know you're a witless wonder, but do try to do something constructive, like go find some water."

Harry ran off to find water. Draco continued to hold her hand against his cold chest. He looked up at her face and a single tear was tracing its way down her cheek. He couldn't stand to see her cry. It was one of the worst things he had ever witnessed – watching her cry when they were younger. He used his free hand to wipe the tear away. She looked up at him. He smiled at her.

He said, "Being a cold, tin man comes in handy once in a while." He looked down at her hand on his chest, still being held there by his hand.

She nodded, but didn't respond.

"Why do you want to call me Malfoy?" he asked.

"You look like someone from my home, and his name is Malfoy," she answered.

"Is he missing a heart, too?" he asked.

"Some would say," she answered lightly. "I rather think he has a heart, it's just buried so deeply in his chest that he's forgotten how to use it."

"He's a bad man, then?" he asked.

"No, not really, not any longer," she said slowly.

"He's not evil?" he asked.

"Not evil, not at all. Not bad. Not even completely heartless. Just without the capacity to feel, I think, though who am I to make such assumptions?" she wondered aloud. "Too bad he's not here with us. Harry could get a brain, I could go home, you could get your heart, and he could learn to feel again."

"I gather he's not a friend of yours?" he said lightly.

She looked up at him and said, "No, not at all. I've known him most my life, but we've never been friends. The truth is he hates me."

"Oh really? Why would anyone hate you? You're such a loving, sweet sort of girl," he said with a sarcastic grin.

"Shut up," was her only response, though she smiled back.

He moved to sit next to her on the fallen tree, moving her hand slightly to a different spot on his chest, but keeping his hand on top, and he said, "No really, why does he hate you?"

"Because he thinks my blood is inferior," she said plainly.

Draco knew that the real tin man wouldn't know what that meant, but he did, and he wasn't going to ask her to expound on that. Instead, he asked, "And why do you hate him?"

"I don't hate him. I suppose I dislike him because he hates me." She waited a few moments and then mumbled, "What the hell, this isn't real." She looked at the tin man and said, "Truthfully, I don't hate him any longer. Occasionally, he really makes me laugh. He'll walk by my desk at work and say something insanely witty and I'll laugh. Sometimes I'm the only one that gets what he says, or I'll say something in response, and he'll laugh, and no one else will, and I like that. I like that he understands my sense of humour, and that he's intelligent enough to understand the small things that escapes others attention."

"He sounds like a wonderful chap to me," Draco decided.

She laughed and said, "Oh no, don't get me wrong, he's still haughty and arrogant and a bigot. He still looks down on me because in our world, if you aren't what's considers a pureblood, some people, like Draco, thinks you're a second-class citizen. The thing is, even though I have a boyfriend, and I love him dearly, I've had a slight crush on the stupid ponce, Malfoy that is, for a while, and that alone makes my skin crawl."

Draco laughed. "You don't want to have a crush on him?"

"Heavens no! And I can't really tell anyone, although as a lark I mentioned it the other day, when I mentioned this stupid movie to a coworker. It doesn't matter, because I have Ron, and Draco would never like me anyway. As I said, he hates me."

"And you're in love with someone else nonetheless, right?" Draco said, pulling her closer. She was practically on his lap. He had his free hand around her waist, his other on her hand, and his face was right next to hers.

She looked up into his eyes, so like her Draco's eyes and she said, "I love Ron, but I've decided long ago that it's more a friendship than a romantic love, but I haven't the heart, or ironic enough, the courage, to tell him that. As for Draco, well, it would never work. Never."

"Never?" he asked. He leaned even closer.

"Never," she repeated, slowly, softly. His lips were so close. He looked so much like Draco, though he had on a tin suit. She leaned her head upwards slightly and placed her lips next to his.

"I found the water!" Harry shouted, holding a bucket and some water.

Hermione flew away from Draco as if he was scalding her. Draco clenched his fists and cursed the day Harry Potter was born. It was an every day curse, so it was something that came easily for him.

She knelt by the bucket and placed her burnt hand inside. Draco stood up and said, "Well, after you take care of your hand, we should be on our way. I want us to find some sort of shelter by nightfall." Especially if neither of them could do magic here…wait, he just remembered, he had performed magic! He levitated the other tin man into the cottage, and changed his Armani suit into a tin suit. He wondered if he could heal her hand somehow without her knowing.

She was still by the bucket; hand in water, Harry by her side, speaking to her softly. He took out his wand, pointed it toward a small bush and watched as it exploded. Good, he could do magic. He wondered why he could and she couldn't? He pointed his wand at the bucket of water and said a silent healing spell toward her hand. He only hoped it would work. He wasn't the best with silent spells.

He walked toward the pair, after hiding his wand, and asked, "How's the hand?"

She lifted it from the water and seemed shocked that it was all better. "Good as new," she said.

"Let's go, then," Harry urged. He picked up the basket and put it in the crook of his arm. He offered his other arm to Hermione. She placed her arm through his.

"Coming?" she asked Draco.

"I wouldn't go anywhere else, Sweetheart," he said. "Oh, sorry, I just broke a rule. I can't remember which one."

She smiled, offered her free arm to him, and said, "That's fine. You can call me Sweetheart. I just decided. Come along, Crookshanks!"

Draco hooked his arm though her offered arm, and walked along her other side, down the green brick road. He smiled as they walked along. This had been a very informative little scene. He found out that she was no longer in love with Weaslebee (that she loved him only as a friend and she merely didn't know how to tell him), that she liked being called Sweetheart by him, that she didn't really hate him, oh…and they almost kissed, and would have kissed, if not for stupid scarecrow boy. Even though she thought she was kissing the tin man, he knew otherwise. Yes, this was a good little part of the story after all.

He couldn't recall what came next, but at this point, he didn't really care.


	5. 5 The Part with the Cowardly Ron

**Chapter 5: The Part with the Cowardly Ron:**

Evening was enveloping the day as the trio ambled down the green brick road, a quartet actually, if one counted the cat. Hermione had grown unusually quiet. She was anticipating the next part, facing Ron, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

She wasn't looking forward to it because she found herself slightly drawn to the man walking along to the left of her, even if he did have a funnel for a hat and a suit made of tin. How odd. It's wasn't as if this was the real Draco Malfoy, so why should she find this fellow attractive? On the same note, it wasn't as if the next character they would meet was the real Ron, so there was no reason to fret. Perhaps it wouldn't even be Ron. Perhaps it would be someone else who was cowardly. No one came to mind at that moment, but that didn't mean it couldn't be someone else.

Draco looked over at her slyly and said, "You're being unusually quiet."

"How would you know?" she asked, picking up on the word, 'unusually'. "Perhaps I'm always quiet."

"Perhaps," he agreed, quickly covering his blunder, "or perhaps you're just being quiet because something's wrong. You weren't this quiet earlier."

"I'm dreading the part that's coming up," she said, knowing he wouldn't understand, but yet not knowing that he actually did. However, she didn't have time to explain, because she heard Crookshanks screech and hiss and then saw him as he ran around a large oak tree. Harry ran toward the cat first, with Hermione and Draco right behind him.

"Crookshanks! Come back here," Hermione yelled, passing Draco and Harry, chasing the cat around yet another tree. She bent low to scoop the part-Kneazle in her arms, when she heard a low growl, then a loud roar. She straightened upright, let out a small squeak, and yelled, "Harry, Draco!"

Both men ran toward her voice. When they reached her, they found her with her hands on her hips, the cat at her feet, back arched, its fur standing on end. She was chastising a large, hairy beast that stood in front of her.

"…And another thing, you're so much bigger than him, so how dare you growl at him. He's a small cat, and you're a big lion, you stupid, prat!" Hermione looked over her shoulder at her two traveling companions and said, "This cowardly lion, who I will henceforth call Ron, had the unmitigated gall to growl at, and then scratch out at my poor, little, defenseless cat!"

"She hit me!" the Lion shouted, showing the other two men his paw.

"You deserved it, and I merely slapped your paw for scaring my innocent, sweet cat!" she argued.

Draco tried to hide his snicker. She turned and glared at him. He said, "Come on, Granger, that cat of yours is a beast!"

"How would you know? He's an angel! He's never been aggressive a day in his life!" she lied.

And he knew she lied, but he couldn't call her a boldfaced liar because then she would know that he was a boldfaced liar! Instead he said, "Take a look at the little fellow, Sweetheart. Anyone can tell he can hold his own."

"Are you okay?" Harry asked the Lion, who stood to the side, holding his paw.

"No!" he barked. "Didn't you hear the part where I said that the mean woman smacked my paw? Why did she have to do that? I wasn't going to hurt the little kitty. I was only trying to scare it."

"Why did you want to scare it?" Harry asked.

"Because that's what I'm supposed to do," he explained. "I'm the king of the forest, and I'm supposed to have courage, and be brave. I was trying to prove that I was brave."

"That doesn't mean you're supposed to go around scaring things smaller and weaker than yourself! That doesn't show courage! That's the antithesis of courage! That makes you a bully!" Hermione shouted.

"What?" Ron asked, confused. He leaned toward Harry and said, "Can you understand anything she says?"

"Yes, surprising enough, what she meant was that when you decided to puff out your chest and pick on the cat, which is smaller and weaker than you are, what you were really doing was showing the direct opposite of having courage. You were actually showing you were being a coward."

Hermione and Draco stared at Harry in shock and Draco leaned over and said, "I swear, he must have a brain in that mess of straw somewhere." He was going to remark that this Harry was smarter than the real one, but he couldn't say something like that, even if it was the truth.

Hermione narrowed her gaze and said, "You do seem very insightful for someone who claims he doesn't have a brain, Harry. And very sweet. I couldn't have explained it better." She walked over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Hey!" Draco shouted. "I knew the antonym of courage, too, you know! I also knew what antithesis meant! Kiss me!"

"Oh, pooh!" Hermione exclaimed, waving a hand in front of his face. She looked at Ron and said, "I suppose we should take you with us to see this stupid Wizard of Because and ask him to get you some courage, if you don't decide to run away from us first that is. Too bad I can't get courage for the real Ron."

"Who's the real Ron?" Ron asked, following Hermione when she began to walk back down the road.

"He's this fellow I know from my home, and I've known him for a long time, and well, sometimes I think he could use a liberal dose of courage as well, but then, when it comes to him, I could, too," she explained.

"Why do you need courage with regards to this Ron bloke?" Harry asked, taking her free arm. Ron already had the other. Draco, once again an outsider to their little trio, fell into step behind them, right beside the cat. He didn't mind being an outsider, an interloper, this time, unlike when they were children, because at this position, he could better observe her, and to hear what she had to say in response to Harry and Ron's inquires.

She took a moment to answer, looked over her shoulder at Draco, and then said, "In my world, I'm engaged to be married to a man named Ron Weasley, but I don't want to be engaged to him any longer. I still love him, but only as a friend."

"Is that why you want to call me Ron?" the Lion asked. "Do I resemble him?"

"You both have ginger hair, and your facial resemblance is remarkable," she said.

"And he's a pussy, just like you," Draco interjected. Hermione stopped, dropped the arms of her companions and stared at him. He stopped walking and held up his hands. "I'm just assuming here…that's all. Am I right?"

She turned back, hooked her arms back in the arms of the other two, and while looking at Ron she said, "He's not a pussy, in the sense that he's not a lion or a cat," she looked back at the tin man again because she swore she heard him snort, "but there was one time in my life that he showed extreme, shall we say, cowardness, in regards to me and our other friend Harry, and lately that, as well as some other things, have been making me question whether or not we should keep our relationship on the same level. I think we should go back to being friends, but I don't have the heart to tell him."

"What did he do to you and your Harry that upsets you enough to this day that you question his courage?" Harry asked.

She frowned and stopped walking. The sky was getting dark and the air cooler. She said, "Perhaps we should stop for the night anyway. We'll stop, have some apples, make a fire, and I'll tell you."

Hermione, Crookshanks and Ron ate some apples while Draco built the fire, and Harry, who was susceptible to fire, and who didn't need to eat, watched idly as they did so. Draco, who _did_ need to eat, hid two apples for later.

Around the golden hue of a warm, wood fire, the five new companions, Hermione, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion, and the Cat, sat to watch the glowing embers, and to listen as Hermione told a tale of a young boy, his two friends, and a very, evil, dark lord.

Draco, who knew this story as well as the woman telling it, listened with rapt attention. She didn't glorify any details, or play up any parts. She didn't vilify those who did not need vilified. She didn't even name names, and at this point, and with this company, what would it have matter if she had said, "and then a Death Eater named Lucius Malfoy" did this or that? It wouldn't have matter to these three, as far as she knew.

Nonetheless, she kept names to herself, she kept it brief and concise, but her audience was still enthralled. When she got toward the end, after several hours of talking, and several bouts of tears, (from several of the attendees) she got to the part in which Draco was waiting.

In amazingly adroit but precise detail she told of how Ron left her and Harry, and how she felt betrayed, and scared, and hurt. "He promised he wouldn't leave me, and then he did. It wasn't easy for any of us, I mean, Harry didn't want to be there, I didn't want to be there, but we had no alternative. Ron, however, felt he did have a choice, or an alternative to sticking it out with his friends. His choice was to walk away, and even though he eventually came back, and I eventually told him I forgave him, I feel terribly guilty and ashamed, because secretly, and this is something I've never told another living soul, I don't think I've ever forgiven him."

"Why was his betrayal so much worse than what anyone else did during the war? You said at the start of your story that some of the people who started out your enemies, like that Malfoy fellow who looks like our tin man, is now on friendly terms with most of you. Why can you forgive a former bully like Malfoy, but not a friend like Ron?" Ron the Lion asked. "Especially as he seemed remorseful, and you said he tried to find you."

She stood up, stomped her foot and said, "I know! I know! I know what you say makes sense, but still…you don't leave people you love! You stick it out! Their pain is your pain! Their fear is your fear! Their love and happiness is your love and happiness! I mean, I just met all of you, but I would never leave a single one of you!" She turned her back on the group and began to cry. She cried because the lion was right, and because she felt bad for feeling bad.

Harry got up on his knees, to go to her, but Draco pulled him back. She said, "It makes me the worst sort of hypocrite, I guess, but I retain bad feelings in regards to that. I'm sorry, but I do."

"Is that why you feel you no longer love him?" Draco asked. He desperately had to know.

She turned back toward them, sat down, and picked up Crookshanks. She cuddled him to her cheek, drying her tears with his fur, and said, "I'll always love him. He's still one of my best friends, but I'll never completely trust him again, and I can't give myself fully to someone I don't trust, and whom I can't forgive."

Draco was beginning to worry now. He had lied to her, he was lying to her now, and if she found out, she would never, ever have feelings for him. He didn't know what to do.

"Tell us what happened after your Ron came back," Harry asked.

"It's late," Draco declared. "She can tell us the rest of the story tomorrow." Besides, he didn't want to hear anymore tonight. He didn't want to hear about her being captured and tortured by his aunt. He didn't think he could take much more.

He said, "Best put out the fire, so the witch won't see. I'll stand guard, first. You all get some sleep."

"Right, Draco and I don't need to sleep, so he and I'll watch for the witch," Harry agreed.

Draco forgot that as a tin man, who didn't eat, he must not need to sleep either. He said, "You take the first watch, Scarecrow. I'm going to go over there for a while, and well, take care of some things." He put out the fire, with his little funnel hat (it was really coming in very handy) and he told the others goodnight. He watched as Harry gave some of the stuffing from his own chest for a pillow for Hermione's head. Great, even this Harry was a selfless git! He couldn't compete for her affections with someone like that.

He walked over to a rock just as the lion was telling Hermione, "Sleep tight, Hermione. I'm sorry for scaring Crookshanks earlier, and I promise, I won't betray you like the other Ron. I'll never leave you." He kissed her cheek and then lay down at her feet.

Draco turned so that his back was to the rest of them and took out one of the apples that he had hidden in his 'hollow chest' and he ate the entire thing as quickly as he could. He was about to eat the other one when he heard rustling behind him.

He stood quickly. It was her. "I hope I'm not interrupting," she interrupted.

"Ah…well, no, I'm just sitting on a rock, what is there to interrupt?" he asked. He sat back down and patted the rock beside him. She sat down.

She said, "You were very quiet tonight, when I told my story. I want to know why."

How could he tell her he was quiet because it hurt his supposed 'non-existent heart' to hear what she had gone through as a child, and what she still went through sometimes today? He shrugged and answered, "I didn't have much to say, that's all. I felt bad that you had a hard life."

She gave a small chuckle, nudged his chest with her arm, and said, "And all these feelings of empathy and sympathy coming from a man who doesn't have a heart."

He stood up quickly and said, "Oh, I have a heart, Sweetheart. It may not beat and pump blood the way yours does, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel things, and yearn for things, and love things."

He looked down at the ground. When he looked back up, she was right before him. The moon was coming down in streaks through the limbs and leaves of the trees, playing lights and shadows with her features, and he never thought she looked lovelier. He reached up for her face, faltered, and let his hand drop to his side. "Go to sleep, Hermione. We have a long day of walking ahead of us."

He turned away. She came up behind him. He felt her next to him, even though she wasn't touching him in anyway. He felt as if her breath was tracing a path on his back, his neck, and his arms. He turned. She reached up and cupped his face. "You feel things deeper than other people, I suspect. That's why you remind me so much of my Draco Malfoy, well, and the fact that you look like him." She smiled, kept her hand on his face, and rubbed her thumb back and forth near his mouth. "Those who are quiet, and keep their feelings deep inside, often have the deepest wells of emotions. There's an old adage that says, 'Still waters run deep'. I always thought that about Draco, and I think it about you, my dear, sweet, tin man."

She rose slightly, and kissed his other cheek, the whole while still cupping his first cheek with her hand. She started to step away, but he grabbed her wrist, and pulled her back. He kept her hand in his, and brought it to his face. He kissed her open palm and said, "If your Draco, as you call him, and as I'm sure he would love to be called, would ever lie to you, I hope you would find it in your heart to be as open to him, as you are being to me, Sweetheart."

He kept her hand against his cheek, moved it slightly, kissed her wrist, and then set her free. She stared at him for a full five seconds before she turned and walked away. He sat back down on the rock, facing the group this time, and tried hard to think about what he would tell her when all this was over. His heart was so full; he had a lot to consider.


	6. 6 The Part that's not in the Movie

**Chapter 6: A Part that's Not in the Movie or Book**

Draco slept very badly that night, very badly indeed. First, it wasn't easy to sleep in a suit made of tin. He performed a spell to soften the blasted costume considerably, and it worked to a point, but for authenticity purposes, it was still a tin suit, making him still a tin man, who supposedly didn't have a heart.

This also made him a liar.

He had lied to her. Perhaps that was why he had trouble sleeping last night. Perhaps it wasn't the discomfort of his suit, but the discomfort of his insides, because his long dormant morals were being brought to surface, which caused him to toss and turn all night, although his morals had long been a part of his life, and had never caused him to lose sleep before. It was probably because his morals used to be a tad twisted, and now they were running a bit on the good side.

He walked off by himself to think, wash, eat and take care of other bodily functions, and when he returned to the little grove of trees where they all slept last night, he felt her presence long before he saw her. He turned around and there she was.

She was the stuff dreams were made of. She was the stuff writers wrote about, dreamers dreamt about, poetics rhymed about, singers sang about, artist painted about, and lovers loved about. She was goodness and light and beauty and intelligent and she was much too good for Draco Malfoy, but he was just selfish enough to want her anyway. Perhaps his morals were still a bit on the flimsy side.

She smiled at him, asked him if he slept well, then turned around to have a nice laugh and chat with the Harry and Ron clones, (or was that clowns?). He had an instant ache deep in his fake hollow chest cavity. He wanted that. He needed that, or he would cease to be. Who needed a heart to live? Not him. He needed her, or he would shrivel up and die.

How long had he felt this way? Perhaps for a long time, probably since they were kids. He started thinking of her as more than an annoyance when they were out of school. In fact, if Draco Malfoy was an honest man, (and most people would say that he was not) he would say that he could recall the moment cupid's arrow hit him clearly as if it happened yesterday.

It was a year after the war ended. Most of the trials had already begun, and their world was starting to heal. His father had already been sentenced, but due to the fact that he gave up the identity of many of his fellow Death Eaters, and because he gave the Ministry some much needed cash (in other words, a large bribe) he was sentenced to only seven years in prison. He had already served five of those years, so he had two more to go.

His mother got off much better. Because Harry Potter testified that Narcissa helped him during the last battle, the Ministry showed leniency toward her and she was sentenced to eighteen months of house arrest and five years probation with restrictions regarding the use of magic.

Draco, because he was underage during the war and under duress when he committed his crimes, was given a full pardon for all his transgressions, even for what happened regarding the death of their Headmaster. Most people thought that it was an unfair verdict, and that he deserved more. He didn't care what they thought.

A year to the day after the final battle the Ministry declared a formal holiday, and called it "A Day of Healing". They had a gathering at Hogwarts, revealed a memorial for the fallen, and honoured the living that fought for the light side.

Draco went back to Hogwarts that day. He didn't go to hear the bloody, stupid speeches. He didn't go to see the stupid stone memorial they had erected. He didn't go to honour the living, or to mourn the dead. To be truthful, he didn't know why he wanted to go. Going there was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He was a coward at heart…he could easily be the cowardly lion in this story, but he wasn't a coward that day. He bucked up the courage, because he knew he had to face his demons and bury his past, before he could build a future.

Some people made crude or rude remarks to him that day. If he had a galleon for every time someone called him a Death Eater that day, he would have been a wealthy man, if he wasn't already a wealthy man.

A few people even told him to leave. Told him he had no right to be there. Told him he should be rotting in prison right next to his Father.

But not her.

That day it was 'All hail the effing Golden Trio'! Everyone was shaking their hands, and smiling at them and wishing them well. Everyone who made a speech had to mention the name of 'Harry Potter', and in the next breath, add on 'Hermione Granger' and 'Ron Weasley'. It almost made Draco sick, except for the fact that all three of them seemed embarrassed by the attention. None of them gave a speech. None of them stood up on a chair and said, "Hey, look at me, I saved our world!"

And when some stupid git threw a glass of punch in Draco's face and called him a dirty, rotten, bastard Death Eater who killed their Headmaster, Draco could only pull out a handkerchief, dry off his face, then clench his fists to his sides and walk away.

He felt like a tin man that day, because apparently everyone around him thought he didn't have a heart, or any emotions whatsoever, or even a shred of humanity, because of the way they were all treating him. He started to leave when she approached.

He remembered the way her hand felt on his arm, even through his jacket and shirt sleeves. She put her hand on his arm, and he turned around quickly, ready for a battle, ready to finally use fisticuffs to ward off the enemies, when he saw it was Hermione Granger.

She flinched when she saw his fist, and removed her hand from his arm. He lowered his fist. He frowned. She smiled. He said, "Sorry." She said, "That's alright." Then, she did the thing that made him fall in love, or at least, the thing that started the ball rolling, or in his case, the arrow zing toward his heart.

She reached up for his face. She brushed away his bangs first, and then her hand went gently to his cheek, brushing away a few last drops of the red punch from that wanker's glass.

The touch of her hand on his face made his normally absent heart pump back to life that day. She cocked her head to the side and said, "Some people can be so heartless sometimes. Forget about them. You're a bigger and better man than that man, Draco Malfoy. You came here today, not to cause trouble, but to heal, and I think that's a very brave thing for you to do. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of guts, and most of all, it takes someone with the capacity to forgive and forget. What I'm trying to say is it takes a lot of heart. Never mind the naysayers, just let your heart heal, Malfoy. Let your heart heal."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. Her hand slid from his cheek to his forearm, and he looked at it quickly. As if embarrassed, she removed it just as quickly. She smiled once more and then said goodbye and was on her way. She left him.

And she was wrong about something. His heart would never completely heal, because she left it with a hole, a hole that only she could fill, but which she probably never would, especially because he was lying to her.

He had to tell her the truth.

"Draco?" He looked up and she was before him. "We're ready to go. I don't know if we have a long day's journey ahead of us or not, but we should get started."

"I have to tell you something first, Hermione," he said, taking her arm.

She nodded and urged, "Go on."

He looked toward the others and asked, "May we have a moment alone?"

The Scarecrow and the Lion picked up the basket and the cat and walked away from the little grove of trees. Hermione smiled at him, just as she had that day at the celebration at Hogwarts. "Please, what do you need to tell me?"

Hermione felt her heart tumble around in her chest while she stared at the Tin Man. He looked so much like Draco Malfoy. He could be his double. He also seemed troubled by something, pensive, and upset. She recalled Draco acting the same way one time before, a year or so after the war, when they had that memorial at Hogwarts.

Draco had seemed so handsome that day, though he also seemed menacing and had a predatory air that she found sexy. He frowned the entire time, much as he was doing now, but she still found him incredibly attractive, of course, the man in front of her wasn't the real Draco Malfoy, but he was still handsome.

His gaze traveled down her body and then came back to her face. He placed his hands on her arms. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this excited by a man. He pulled her closer, and she felt no apprehension, just anxiety and anticipation. Her body was pressed up against a suit made of tin, for goodness sakes, yet she was imagining it was hard muscle, and the lean frame of a man she had a crush on, but still party despised. She found herself with an odd mixture of emotions: annoyance, lust, and confusion.

And she had the sudden urge to kiss him! Instead, she reached up and pulled off his little funnel hat. She reached for his hair. It was soft and silky. How odd. They were so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. She stroked his hair back once more, smiled at him, and said, "What is it, Draco? You can confide in me."

He pulled her into an embrace, and her stomach flopped. He whispered into her hair, "I think there's been some sort of mistake. The spell that trapped you here went crazy. You have to understand, I didn't plan this. I didn't know this was going to happen." He was whispering right in her ear, and she shivered again, because the feel of his arms around her, and his breath on her neck, was too intimate, too much, too soon.

He gave into the urge and kissed her earlobe, since his mouth was so close. She sucked in a breath.

The thought that he might kiss her made her quiver with anticipation, and it also made her mentally slap herself. Though there was a remarkable resemblance, THIS WAS NOT DRACO MALFOY, IT WAS THE TIN MAN!

His lips grazed across her neck and he said, "I'm really Draco Malfoy, not the tin man."

* * *

_A/N: And I must say…Dum, Dum, DUM!_


	7. 7 The Part with the Poppies

**Chapter 7: The Part with the Poppies (POPPIES)**

Hermione Granger was in shock!

It was the REAL Draco Malfoy holding Hermione Granger in his arms! It was the REAL Draco Malfoy who had just placed his arms around her, kissed her earlobe, and then brushed his lips against her neck, all the while confessing THAT HE WAS THE REAL DRACO MALFOY!

This was not happening! This was an illusion, a dream, a massive hallucination. Imagining that she was stuck inside the movie 'The Wizard of Oz' was one thing, but imagining that the real Draco Malfoy had just kissed her neck and was stuck in here with her was too much to handle. It wasn't real. It couldn't be!

She tried to process everything, decided that she couldn't, wouldn't, and just plain didn't want to, so she pushed away from his chest and said, "Alright, good to know, good to know. Well, we best be on our way to the Ruby City. Where the hell is the green brick road?" She looked to and fro, and then said, "Oh, there it is. Come along, the real Draco Malfoy. Let's get you that heart."

She smiled (an almost maniacal smile in Draco's opinion) and started walking along the road. She yelled, "Come along Scarecrow and Lion. Don't forget the cat and the basket."

She marched along quickly. Draco ran to catch up with her. "Did you hear me, Granger? Did you hear what I said back there?"

She nodded; the same weird, stupid smile still painted on her face, and replied, "I heard you. You're Draco Malfoy. Not the tin man. That makes perfect sense. Everything makes perfect sense. Everything makes perfect sense in every perfect way!"

"It does?" he asked, confused and bewildered.

"Of course," she answered, smiling still. Her smile scared him. Harry ran up to the pair and Hermione smiled at him and said, "I don't suppose you're really my friend Harry Potter, are you?"

"No, I'm really a scarecrow, but I don't mind that you call me Harry," he said.

"Good to know, good to know," she repeated. Damn, she was still smiling. She looked over at the lion as they 'eased on down the road' and said, "And you're really a lion, right?"

"Yes, Hermione," he said, "but I'm with Scarecrow here, if you want to call me Harry, you can."

"No, she wants to call you 'Ron' and me 'Harry'," the scarecrow corrected. He laughed and said, "Maybe he needs a brain, too."

Draco suddenly stopped. What was wrong with her? Was she suffering from a malaise of some type, or hysteria, or a fever, or a brain aneurysm, or… "Did you hear me, Draco?" Hermione asked.

Draco called out, "No. I was pondering the fate of your mental health. What did you say?"

"I told you that you had better hurry up or you might be left behind. Don't lag too far at the rear. The poppy field is coming up. We don't want to miss that part. Fun time is sure to be had by all, when we all pass out from the effing poppies! The poppies, the poppies!" Her voice became higher and shriller with each word she uttered.

Draco stopped again. Something was definitely wrong. "Hermione Granger, get your arse back here right now and look at me!" Draco shouted. He threw his little funnel hat on the ground and turned his stupid tin suit back into the designer, black suit that he had on at the time that she entered this nightmare.

She turned around. She saw him as he had appeared the last time she had seen him at the Ministry. She began to breathe heavy. She sat down on a low fence and grasped her chest and said, "I think I'm hyperventilating. I need a paper bag. Does anyone have a paper bag?"

He rushed to her side, along with Harry and Ron. Draco knelt in front of her and said, "Why are you acting stranger than usual?" He was going to ask her why she was acting so strange, but then again, he realized, she usually acted a bit daft.

She took Harry's hat off his head and began to breathe into it, so that she wouldn't pass out. Between breaths she said, "But…(breath)…how….(breath)….did…(breath)…you…(breath)…come…to…be…"

"Oh for Merlin's sakes woman, spit it out," he hissed.

She threw Harry's hat on the ground, stood up, knocking Draco on his bum in the meanwhile. She pointed down at him on the ground and screamed, "How did you get to be here with me? Is this your fault? Did you hex me, or curse me, or something?"

"NO! I'm offended by that accusation!" he said.

Hermione snorted.

"Hey, I am offended by it," he repeated, standing up quickly. "How do I know you didn't plan all of this, to get back at me for trying to take your beast of a cat?" He knew she hadn't done that, but he thought it was better to accuse her than to be accused.

"WHAT?" she shouted. "You think I did this to myself? You're certifiably mad!" She turned away from him, picked up Harry's hat and threw it back to him. She turned to Draco and said, "Just stay away from me, you hear!"

"No, I won't! I have to find a way out of this nightmare, too, you know," he argued.

"Why didn't you tell me who you were straight away?" she finally had the wherewithal to ask. "Why the charade? Why pretend to be the tin man?"

"Because that's who you told your coworker I looked like, so I thought…" he started, though he got no farther.

Her mouth dropped opened, and he realized his blunder. "What?" she said it in almost a whisper. "What?"

He looked down. He didn't know how to continue.

"Draco Malfoy, tell me right now what you mean," she insisted, though she said it softly, with a slight hitch to her voice. He thought she sounded as if she might cry.

He shrugged and then finally answered, "You told some woman at your office about how this was your favourite movie, and how some of the characters reminded you of some of us, and that's all I knew. When that bookshelf started to fall on you, I reached out to help you, which, by the way, your two moronic friends didn't do. I guess when I reached out I got sucked into the tornado with you, Dorothy."

He was afraid to say any more.

"Yet, that doesn't tell me why you lied when you got here," she said, not looking at him. She sat down on a large rock. The scarecrow and the lion stood behind her. Draco felt as if it was just like old times. It almost seemed as if the three of them were on one side, he was on the other, and they were judging him, because he was in the wrong, and they, of course, as was par for the course, were in the right.

"I felt I had to lie," he lied. "You wouldn't have wanted me along, and I had to try to find the Wizard fellow with you, to get back home."

"How do you know this story?" she asked.

Should he tell her the truth? "I've seen the movie before," he said, not telling her that it was recently, and only because of her, that he had seen it.

She rubbed her eyes with her hands. She felt frustrated. "Was this whole thing with my cat a ploy or some kind?"

"Listen, I don't have to stand here and listen to these accusations!" he shouted. She was dangerously close to the truth, and he didn't like that.

"I'm asking a question, not making an accusation, though I think you just answered my question," she confirmed. She stood up and looked at Harry and Ron. "Let's go gentlemen. The sooner we get to the Wizard, the sooner Draco and I can go home, and we can resolve this issue with my cat, and then I hope that I'll never have to see him ever again."

Draco watched as they started walking away and he stomped his foot and said, "That's not nice, Granger! Don't you even want to know why I wanted to kill your kitty in the beginning?"

She rushed back to him so suddenly, and with so much passion and fury on her face, that he was scared. He pulled out his wand. She took his wand from his hand and threw it on the ground and pulled him toward her with her hands on his lapels. "I don't care what evil thing you had in mind in the beginning, Malfoy. I don't care whether it was a joke, or just an elaborate way to get back at Harry or me, or a way to show how much you hate me, or what. All I know is, when we get back, you will not harm one hair on Crookshank's head, or so help me, I'll make you pay!"

The fact that she was being so unreasonable, and a bit violent, upset him more than he thought it would. He grabbed her wrists, pulled her hands from his jacket, held them tight, and said, "Listen here, Granger, when we get back, that cat is dead. He's a menace! He has no reason to be around polite society, and frankly, neither do you! If you had just calmed down, and thought for a moment when I told you that I overheard you talking with your friend, you would have realized that I heard you say a few other things as well! Some things that maybe were reciprocal at one time, but now that you're being, shall we say, a wicked witch, are now not shared at all!

"Go on to the stupid Ruby City without me! I don't bloody well care! I don't need you, strawhead, or the cowardly weasel over there! Go on! Get out of my sight, Mudblood!" He released her wrists, stooped down, and picked up his wand. When he stood back up, and saw the horrified look her on her face, he didn't know what to feel.

Hermione gasped. "You know what; you need that heart more than the tin man! Sure, he thought he needed a heart, but he at least had the capacity to love, and to change! You only love yourself and you'll never change, Malfoy! You'll always be a closed minded, bigot and a pureblood bully!"

"And you'll never change either, Granger! You'll always have an ego the size of Kansas, and you'll always think you're better than me, because you think you're smarter, and holier, and more righteous, but honey, you aren't a saint. You're not even close! I don't know what I thought I saw in you. To think, I thought I had feelings for you! Maybe I'm the stupid one! Maybe I need the brain, not sawdust head over there!"

She stared at him for many long moments. Her chest was heaving up and down. He wouldn't look away. He knew he had hurt her, but damn it, she had hurt him, too. Harry came up to her, placed his arm around her shoulder, and said, "Come on, Hermione. We need to go."

She started to turn away, only to turn back. She wanted to tell him that he was right, and that she was sorry, but her pride was in the way. She merely looked at him for a moment longer, shook her head, and then felt shame wash over her as a tear ran down her cheek. She brushed it away furiously, said, "Come along, Harry, Ron. We have to get to the poppy fields."

"Is the tin man coming?" Ron asked.

"No, I don't think so," Harry answered. He took Hermione's hand and led her along.

She looked back. Draco sat down by the side of the road, and she thought he looked lost and forlorn. She had seen him look that exact same way years before, at the tribute for the battle of Hogwarts. She had gone to him that day, to try to make him feel better. She was the cause of those feelings today.

She was so ashamed.

She felt terrible for the mean things she had said, merely because she was embarrassed that he had found out that she had a crush on him. It wasn't his fault that he got stuck here with her. At least he had reached out for her when she started to fall, which was more than her friends had done. The fact that he hid his identity made perfect sense, given the fact that she had become so angry when she had found out the truth, and really, what harm had he done? He had eventually told her the truth.

After holding her and kissing her neck.

She was merely embarrassed to have been found out, that was all. And perhaps the whole thing with her cat had been a ruse on his part, to make her notice him. Poor Draco Malfoy and his terrible social skills. He didn't know any better. He didn't know to simply come up and talk to her. He thought he had to threaten to have her cat killed to get her attention.

She looked back again, but he was no longer there.

The group of Hermione, Crookshanks, the lion and the scarecrow, walked all morning and into the afternoon. Finally, off in the distance, they saw a wonderful sight to behold: The Ruby City.

"Oh, look, Hermione, that's it, isn't it?" Harry asked, excited.

Ron smiled and said, "I can almost feel the courage washing over me the closer we get! I'm so happy!"

Hermione smiled weakly, and just as she had done all day long, looked back to see if she could see Draco. She couldn't. The truth was she was a bit worried about him. She said, "Now, if I remember this part of the story, this field is going to be turned into a poppy field by the evil witch. The poppies will make Crookshanks, Ron and I, all fall asleep," she looked at Harry, "but you'll not be influenced by it, Harry, so you need to call upon the good witch, Luna, to make it snow, and that should freeze the poppies, and we'll wake up. Got it?"

"You're so smart, and pretty, Hermione," Harry said, with a smile. He cupped her face with his hand. "I wish you weren't so sad. I'm sorry that the tin man lied to you."

"Don't worry about that," she said, with a wave of her hand. "If he was here right now, he would pass out, too, so what good would he be?" She tried to smile, but it felt as forced and feigned as her smile before, so she sighed instead. "Let's get started across."

They started walking across the field of beautiful flowers and sure enough, Hermione started to become overwhelmed with an extreme feeling of exhaustion and tiredness. She said once more, "Don't forget, Harry, Luna should make it snow without you calling for her, but just in case, yell out for the good witch, okay. Snow. We need snow."

"Snow," Harry repeated.

Little Crookshanks was already asleep. He curled up in a ball and was beside Hermione's feet. She sat beside him and was soon fighting a yawn. She lay down on her side and closed her eyes. She heard Ron fall over and then she wasn't aware of another thing.

Draco followed the group from a distance the entire way to the poppy field. He made certain that he stayed in the woods, off the road. He noticed that all day she kept looking back. Was she looking for him? Probably not.

He felt horrible for the mean things he had said to her, though he felt she mostly deserved them. Still, she had to have been surprised by his admission, and he had lied to her. He was surprised that she hadn't slapped him across the face the moment he announced who he really was. He knew she had one hell of a slap.

He stood at the edge of the poppy field. He placed a bubblehead charm over his mouth and nose so that the poppies wouldn't put him to sleep. He stood on the fringe as Hermione lay down gently on the ground. He watched as the big dopey lion went down with a thud. He knew as soon as the snow came, they would wake again, although that part of the movie confused him a bit.

He also knew that in the movie, the tin man didn't fall asleep in the poppy field, although he had rusted. Since he _would_ have fallen asleep, and _wouldn't_ have rusted, it was just as well that he had revealed himself to her before this scene. He also knew that in the movie the scarecrow didn't fall asleep, therefore, imagine his surprise and chagrin when the Harry Potter, look-a-like, scarecrow fell over in a heap right beside the lion and Hermione.

Draco ran into the middle of the field. Harry was out like a light, just like the other two. What in the world was going on now?

* * *

_A/N: A fan of this story, Kip85, made some cover art for this story. Please visit my author's page to view it! Thanks to him_!


	8. 8 The Part after the Poppies

**Chapter 8: The Part after the Poppies (THE POPPIES)**

Imagine Draco's surprise and chagrin when the Harry Potter, look-a-like, scarecrow fell over in a heap right beside the lion and Hermione in the middle of the poppy field.

Draco ran into field. Harry was out like a light, just like the other two. What in the world was going on now? He kicked at the scarecrow with the toe of his polished black shoes. Damn. He didn't want to touch the thing, so he looked up into the air and said, "Anytime you want to show your face and make it snow, Looney Lovegood, Good Witch of the Loonies, go right ahead!"

The good witch apparently didn't hear him, therefore, he shouted again: "Come out here, you stupid witch and make it snow immediately!" Still, nothing occurred.

This was not good. Wait a moment, Draco had a wand. He could bloody well make it snow just as easily as some loony witch from the north. He pulled out his wand and paused for a moment. Why could he do magic when Hermione apparently couldn't? And furthermore, why couldn't she perform magic? She performed magic in the beginning when she transfigured a bookshelf to fall on Umbridge, but later, when she tried the water spell to put out the scarecrow after he caught fire, it didn't work.

Walking over to a sleeping Hermione, he knelt beside her. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. It was a nice change. He wasn't used to a silent and peaceful looking Granger. He took a chance and removed his bubble-head charm. Nothing happened. He still felt wide awake. He leaned over more and kissed her forehead. It felt the right thing to do, and he realized he might never get another chance.

Then he stood up, pointed toward the sky, and thought of what spell he should use. While thinking, he muttered, "I don't need you to show up and save the day, good witch Glenda. Apparently, poppies don't mean squat to me, since I'm still awake. Evil wizard Draco will save the effing day. You just stay hidden away. Now, what spell should I use?"

"I would use a simple weather charm," said a lilting voice behind him. Draco turned toward the voice.

"About time you finally showed up, Glenda or Looney, or whatever the hell your name is," Draco mumbled. "Now, make it snow."

"You were going to do it, so go on. You're as capable as I am," she urged. "And for your information, in the movie, the good witch doesn't show up to make it snow, it just does. The action is merely shown in a sort of floating bubble that goes across the screen."

"Apologies," he began, then, "Hey, wait a bloody moment, how do you know about the movie? Shouldn't this all be real to you?"

"It should, but I happen to know all about this spell, and the movie. I'm not really Glenda the good witch," she explained. She walked over to Harry and looked down. She smiled and said, "Harry's really very smart, you know, but he didn't figure in this part, I don't think. Also, he didn't figure in the appearance of the real Draco."

Draco pointed down at Harry. "Do you mean to tell me that's the real Pothead?"

"Certainly. He and I came up with this plan. Genius, huh?" she said.

Draco rolled his eyes. "He's a bloody brilliant mastermind! Why would he do this to his supposed best friend?" Draco rushed back over to Hermione and said, "She's distraught! She thinks she's in a spell gone wrong! What's the point of this?"

Luna smiled and approached Draco. "The point, Draco Malfoy, is to make Hermione see that she and Ron are all wrong for each other, and to let her see how very much she actually loves you."

"What, why, how?" he stammered. He glowered at her and expounded, "Potter isn't benevolent or smart enough to do that for Granger, and she doesn't love me, does she? I mean, she's dating the doddering, old, yellow-bellied lion there." He moved toward Ron, touched his face with the toe of his shoe, and added, "Please, for the love of all things evil, tell me that's not the real Weasel."

"Oh no," Luna expressed. "He's not real. Only you, I, Hermione and Harry are real. I'm the one that Hermione talked to the other day, about this movie and the comparisons, you know. I know you were listening. I saw you. She didn't, but I did. I notice a lot of things. Things that make me think. I went to Harry, and we came up with this plan. It was perfect, really, and you played into our hands perfectly. After I spelled Hermione's cat to bite you, I knew you were smart enough to make the comparisons to the movie as well, since you had just overheard her talking about it a few days before."

"You made that beast bite me!" Draco shouted.

"Of course. He's normally such a nice kitty," Luna said with a smile. "After that, you did everything as I suspected you would. Harry had doubts. He thought you wouldn't make the comparisons, but I knew you would think of the movie, and try to take her cat. Of course, we didn't expect Hermione to become so unglued about it, or so passionate, and we really didn't expect you to actually try to take the cat, but in retrospect, we should have."

Draco placed his hands on his hips. "What do you mean?"

"Well," she started, "Hermione felt betrayed by you, in a way, even though you had no clue that she liked you, so she went overboard, and overreacted. You, being the emotionally, stunted, immature person that you are, reacted as you would have when you were a child. You felt betrayed too, in your own way, so you reverted back to the 'bad boy' role. You both felt cornered. We simply had to intervene."

Draco took his hands from his hips and crossed his arms over his chest. "I am not immature." He would accept that he was, as she put it, 'emotionally stunted', but saying he was immature was a bit much. "What I don't understand is why would Harry want to help Hermione get with me? She's dating his other supposed best friend!"

"Oh, that," she said, with a wave of her hand. She walked over to Ron and looked down. "The real Ron Weasley is cheating on her. Harry found out. He's angry and feels betrayed on her part. He feels a bit betrayed by her, too, because she didn't tell Ron that her feelings had changed. Harry knows that Hermione doesn't want to hurt Ron, and that Ron doesn't have the courage to tell Hermione the truth, so he's intervening. It's something he does. He always feels as if he knows what's best for everyone. It's one of his most endearing traits."

She walked back over to Harry. "He's really quite handsome, isn't he?"

Draco felt bile rise in his throat. "I don't feel qualified to answer that question."

"Because he's a man, and you're a man, and you aren't secure enough in your manhood?" she asked.

"NO!" he spouted. "It's because he's Potter and as far as I'm concern he's a bloody wart on the backside of society! He's…Potter! I can say a man is handsome if he is."

"Really? Who do you think is handsome?" Luna asked with a smile. "Give me one name."

Draco tapped his finger to his cheek and said, "Okay, I always thought that Oliver Wood chap was a bit dashing. By the way, he wasn't real, was he, because I hid him in the woodsman's cottage?"

"No, totally fake," she sang. "And I agree, very handsome. You have good taste, Draco. Now, what should we do about this? We probably should wake Harry first. I knew the poppies would make him go to sleep, too. We didn't count on you being here, but when we discovered that you were, perhaps he felt assured that you would wake them all up incase I couldn't."

"How did he know I could do magic? Hermione can't do magic, for some reason," Draco relayed.

Luna frowned slightly and said, "She can. She did at first, which we didn't expect. She tried to make a bookshelf fall on the witch of the west."

Draco laughed. "I know. Now that was bloody brilliant, that was."

"Yes, it was a bit of a lark," she said, smiling now. "But you know, with her wand, she could have figured out a way out of here, so I had to do a simple charm to disable her wand. It was easy, really."

Draco regarded the woman for a moment and said, "You really are quite smart. I forget that you were in Ravenclaw. You should work for me."

"No," she said, waving her hand. "I only use my brains for good, and you undoubtedly would want me to use it for bad." She bent down to Harry again and concluded, "In addition, if I wasn't at the Ministry, I wouldn't get to see Harry all the time."

Draco pulled her back up. "Tell me something, Looney, I mean, sorry, Luna." She smiled at him. "How do you know all of this will work? It's a bit drastic, isn't it? And, how do you really know Granger, you know, loves me?"

She cocked her head to the side and said, "Oh, I see, you feel a bit insecure, and you want me to tell you something to convince you that Hermione really loves you, right?"

"She more or less acted as if she hated me when she found out I was the real Draco, and not the blasted tin man," Draco replied.

"Have a seat." Luna pointed to a fallen tree beside the poppy field. Draco sat down. Luna walked up to him and pointed her wand at him.

He cowered in fear and said, "What the hell, Looney? Are you going to hex me?"

She smiled, placed her hand on his shoulder, and said, "For the record, it hurts my feelings when people call me that, so please call me Luna. Also, you need to learn to trust people. Perhaps you should ask 'The Wizard of Because' for some trust, instead of a heart, although you could do with a dash of both. I merely was going to perform a simple remembrance charm on you, to let you see a memory of something I noticed one time with you and Hermione, before the recent difficulties, and when you weren't yelling at each other."

"Oh," he said softly. "Again, apologies, for calling you, you know, that name. I hate it when people call me 'Ferret'."

"I would never do that," she reminded him.

He felt ashamed. Perhaps he should ask the wizard for a dash of humility as well. "I know, and you've never shown me anything but kindness, Luna, so I'm truly sorry."

"Apology accepted, Draco," she said steadily. "Now, what memory should I show you? Oh, I have a good one. Here goes!"

* * *

_Hermione walked out of the office of Muggle Relations with Luna Lovegood, on their way to a meeting, when she spied Draco Malfoy sitting on the corner of a pretty witch's desk. He had just told the woman a funny anecdote, but just as the other witch began to laugh, he popped off the desk and followed closely behind the real person he wanted to see._

_She was pretending to ignore him, which he found endearing. She was smiling, because she knew he was following her. "Hello Lovegood, Granger. Nice day outside, isn't it?" he remarked._

"_It's raining," Hermione chirped, without looking at him. Luna walked slightly ahead of the pair._

_Draco said, _"_I love the rain. It's wet and cold. Reminds me of my dear old dad and my lovely mother."_

_She turned to look at him, gave him a funny look, turned back around to walk forward, and ran right into a man who was walking toward them. The man hurried past without apologizing, or helping her as she stumbled._

_Draco reached out for her, took her arms, steadied her, and then shouted down the hallway, "Watch where you're going you stupid, bloody wanker!"_

_Hermione gasped and said, "Draco, that's the Minister of Magic!"_

"_And your point?" he asked. Then he smiled. She tried not to smile in return, but she failed, because a smile came through. _

_She shook her head and sighed. "I'm late for a meeting. Why are you always here at the Ministry? You don't work here."  
_

"_No, but my tax dollars pay for all of your salaries. I want to make sure I'm getting my money's worth," he retorted._

_She raised her eyebrows and hummed. "Hmm, is that why you were flirting with that pretty little witch? Because you pay her salary?"_

"_I wasn't flirting with her," he denied. He was waiting for Hermione to show up, but he could hardly tell her that. He made it a point to try to see her everyday. _

_She made it a point to go out of her way to try to see him everyday. He didn't know that, but she did. "It looked to me as if you were flirting. You were telling her that same funny story that you told my coworker and me the other day." She stopped walking and leaned against the wall._

"_And when I regaled that story to you two, which one was the recipient of my flirting?" He smirked and raised an eyebrow in question._

"_Definitely Jonathon. I could see a spark between you two." She laughed. Luna, who was farther up the hallway, stopped walking as well and turned to watch the pair with interest._

_He leaned forward and placed a hand on the wall, by her head. "Jonathon's a handsome bloke, but I hardly think I was flirting with him, either."_

"_Duly noted," she teased. "You weren't flirting with the pretty girl just now, and you weren't flirting with us the other day."_

_He leaned even closer. "I will only admit to not flirting with the witch today or with that fellow, Jonathon. You can take that as you may." He smiled, leaned away, and folded his arms in front of him. _

_She blushed. "I'm late," she said, pointing down the hall. He pointed too and nodded. She turned away from him and ran down the hall and called to Luna to wait for her. She smiled the whole way there._

* * *

Draco looked up at Luna and said, "She smiled. She smiled at the implication that I was flirting with her. She loves me, or at the very least, likes me. She does."

"She did," Luna agreed. "Then you tried to kill her cat."

"I'll fix this, I will!" Draco stood up and said, "Get lost, good witch. You aren't in this scene, except in a damn bubble that floats along the screen. I'll take care of things from here. I need to wake the stupid scarecrow, aka, Potter the pea brain, make it snow, and then I have to get back in my tin suit, so I can go to the Sapphire City with my compatriots."

"Good to see that you're on board, Draco," she said. "Go easy on Harry, by the way. He meant well."

Draco cocked his head toward the sleeping Potter and said, "You really like the git, don't you? He's single, you know."

"Oh," she laughed, turning scarlet. "It's nothing like that. We're just friends."

"Right, and Granger and I are just enemies, so what's your point?" Draco said, less than convinced. He might have to make a request of the wizard on Luna's behalf, even if it did concern scarhead the scarecrow.

He woke Harry first. Harry sat up, rubbed his eyes, and said, "I was beginning to wonder if you would catch on that I shouldn't have fallen asleep, Malfoy."

"Go to Hades and back, Potter," Draco spat. "By the way, Luna told me everything. If you wanted to tell Granger about Weasel's cheating, and you wanted to get her and me together, there were more intelligent ways to go about it."

Harry stood up and stretched. He shrugged and said, "I know, but Luna was so passionate about this plan, and I guess I wanted to make her happy." He seemed embarrassed by his admission, so he hastily added, "And I wanted to help Hermione and I guess, even you, Ferret."

He would give Potter that one for free, even if he did hate being called that name. He said, "Do something constructive, Potter, and make it snow, won't you?" He changed his black, designer suit, back into a comfortable, faux tin suit, sat on the ground beside Hermione, pulled her partially into his lap, and said, "We're ready."

Harry smiled, and then made it snow.


	9. 9 The Part Before The Gate

**Chapter 9: The Part before the Weird Guy at the Gate of the Ruby City**

Draco changed his black, designer suit, back into a more comfortable, faux tin suit this time, sat on the ground beside Hermione, pulled her partially into his lap, and said, "We're ready."

Harry smiled, and then made it snow. The snow was falling softly, and had not yet woken the other three. Harry hastened to say, "I don't think we should tell Hermione about Luna and me yet."

"I didn't know there was a Luna and you yet," Draco goaded.

"I meant that we're real," Harry revised.

"Oh ho," Draco said, brushing the wet flakes off Hermione's face, "It's alright for Granger to hate me for lying, but not her precious Potter."

Harry scowled and immediately the snow stopped. The only one that had time to wake up was Crookshanks. Harry walked up to Draco and said, "Seriously, Malfoy, that's not it."

"Yes it is," Draco argued. "That's fine. I won't tell her that not only has her boyfriend been cheating on her, and her little best friend knew about it, but her little best friend also concocted some elaborate movie-theme spell to tell her about it, and the real reason he did it was because he wanted to impress Looney Lovegood, whom he has a crush on, never mind the feelings and the undue heartache he's imposed on his best friend, Granger."

Harry merely glared at Draco.

Draco raised a brow and challenged, "Well, it's true. Tell me it isn't true. You did all of this to impress Luna, excuse me for calling her Looney before, not to help Hermione see the light. You could have simply sat Hermione down, told her Ron was a wanker, and she would have pushed his arse to the curb. Eventually, she would have gotten together with me anyway, if she really liked me. You're selfish, Harry Potter. You should ask the wizard to give you whatever it is that makes people not selfish."

"Selflessness?" Harry asked with disdain.

"Whatever," Draco spat back. "Now, commence with the snow, strawboy."

"Ron's not really cheating on her," Harry said out of the blue.

"Luna said he was," Draco argued.

"Not anymore than Hermione is cheating on him with you," Harry returned. "You see, he's fallen in love with someone else, but he's not taken it to another level. He's not pursued this other witch, because he would never hurt Hermione. When I realized that all he ever did was talk about Susan Bones this and Susan Bones that, and did I see how pretty Susan looked today, and Susan told him the funniest story today, I knew."

"I knew because it was the same thing Hermione was beginning to say about you to Luna. Luna told me that all Hermione ever did was talk about you. Of course, she wouldn't talk about you to me, but to Luna, she would tell her how funny she thought you were, or smart, or handsome. She even told her that she had a crush on you for years, and that she thought of you as the tin man in the Wizard of Oz. Luna said that gave her the idea to make Crookshanks bite you."

"After that," Harry continued to explain, "I decided to go along with the rest of her plan. Yes, she got a few of the details wrong, but she's only seen the movie once."

"I've only seen it once, and I wouldn't have gotten it wrong," Draco retorted.

"Bloody hurray for you," Harry rejoined.

"So, you and Luna, huh?" Draco said, smiling. "You sly fox, you."

"There isn't a 'Luna and me'," Harry denied.

"Not yet," Draco said, "though I wager when Granger gets out of this nightmare, she and I together can think of a way to get you two together. What's your favourite movie?"

Harry laughed for a moment and said, "Star Wars. We would all go perfect with that movie, too. I could be Luke. Hermione could be Leia. Ron could be Hans Solo. You could be C3PO." Harry laughed some more.

Draco made a funny face and said, "I've never seen it. What's your next favorite movie?"

"Lord of the Rings?" Harry said uncertain.

"Splendid. We'll make you Frodo, because you're so noble and twitchy, and Luna can be that Samwise character, because he's Frodo's love interest. I'll be the dashing Aragorn, Hermione can be that hot fairy, Arwen, I think is her name. Weasley can be Gollum."

Hermione was still in Draco's lap, being held by him, his hand still stroking her face, but she had woken a while ago, and she found herself silently listening. At the last part she had to laugh. Draco looked down and said, "Hey, you sneak, you're awake. How much did you hear?"

"Ron as Gollum?" She laughed some more. "And Sam was not Frodo's love interest." She sat up and began to brush snow off her checkered dress. She looked at Harry and said, "You like Luna?"

Harry shrugged.

"And this is all a spell?" She stood.

He nodded.

"And Ron loves Susan Bones?" She walked over to the sleeping lion and nudged him awake.

Another nod. The lion stood.

"Thank goodness That means this is over, so you can get us out of here, Harry." She bent down and picked up the basket and located Crookshanks.

Harry shook his head no this time.

Now Draco stood up and said, "What do you mean by shaking your head no, Potter?"

"We really have to go through with the rest of the movie plot, I'm afraid to say. This is Luna's spell. She made it a safeguard. Sorry." He took the basket from Hermione and said, "On the bright side, the Ruby City is in view. Turn around, Hermione."

"You turn around, Harry James Potter, so I can give you a quick kick in the pants. Draco is right. Did it ever dawn on you to simply sit down and talk to me and Ron?"

"It dawned on me," he said sharply. "But just like my character, I guess I don't always have a brain."

"That's right!" she shouted. "Because this is the stupidest thing you've ever done!"

"Hey!" he shouted back. "I went through a lot to help you, and I even suffered a second degree burn for you! I'm not really made of straw you know, and when that wicked witch Umbridge threw the fireball it hurt a little bit!"

"Oh, Harry," she said, softening toward him. "I'm sorry." She approached and went up to hold his arm. "Is it alright?"

"Luna healed it," he said sheepishly.

Hermione smiled. "So you really like Luna?"

Harry shrugged.

"I've had enough of all this hand holding, coddling. Let's get to the gates of the city. I can't wait to see who the crazy man at the gate will be! My money is on Dumbledore, but with Luna at the helm of this nightmare, you never know," Draco spouted. Without delay, permission, or prelude, he grabbed Hermione's hand and marched her across the frozen poppy field toward the gates of the Ruby City.

Hermione liked the way her hand felt in his. It felt warm. It felt nice. It felt right. She didn't want to ruin the moment, or the natural way he held her hand, but she said, "I was always a bit confused at the movie, because for years I didn't know that the man at the gate was the Wizard of Oz until my older cousin told me so."

"It's not the same man," Draco replied.

Harry walked beside them on the green brick road and he said, "Yes, it is. He looks a bit different, but it's the same man who meet Dorothy when she's running away during the black and white part, and who later plays the wizard. I'm not sure why, but it's the same man."

Draco stopped walking, and since he still had Hermione's hand, she did as well. "No, you're both bonkers. It's a different fellow."

"How many times have you seen the movie, Malfoy?" Hermione asked. "I used to watch it every year when I was young, and I've watched it on the telly a few times since I've grown up. It's the same man."

"I'm with Draco on this," the lion interjected. "I think it's a different man."

Hermione smiled at the lion and said, "Dear lion, you don't know what we are even talking about, because this is all real to you, but you see, this is like a movie, and we're talking about that movie."

"Yeah, right," the lion said, nodding. "The Wizard of Oz is a movie, you've made me watch it with you before, Hermione, and I don't think the bloke at the gate is the wizard."

Hermione stood with her mouth open, shocked. Harry stood beside her, also shocked. The lion blushed red, though it was hard to tell. Draco laughed, clapped his hands, and said, "Oh, this is so priceless! The cowardly lion is really the cowardly weasel after all!"

"Ron?" Hermione and Harry asked at the same time.

Now it was Ron's turn to nod. "I could hardly tell you, could I? Especially after you told that story about how you didn't think you would ever forgive me when I left you during the Horcrux search. I didn't know you still felt that way. And, like Malfoy, I didn't know I was going to be stuck in this nightmare with you. When the bookshelf fell we all got sucked into the vortex. Blame Harry if you blame anyone."

Harry sighed.

"I figured," Ron continued, "you weren't that angry at him, and you don't seem angry at Malfoy any longer, though you were madder than a wet hen earlier, so I thought you might forgive me, and I don't want to lie to you anymore. I have fallen in love with Susan Bones, and I should have told you, but to my credit, I haven't acted on anything yet. I haven't kissed her, gone out with her, especially not slept with her, and you know, you should have told me you had feelings for that twat over there, too." He pointed his thumb at Malfoy.

"I'm not in love with him yet!" she squeaked. "Just because I have a crush, or whatever you want to call it, on him, doesn't mean I love him. Oh, Ron, yes, you should have told me, and yes, I guess I should be angrier, the phrase is angrier, not madder, but I can't think beyond getting us out of here." She hung her head, feeling defeated.

Ron walked up to her and stroked her arm with his furry paw. Harry stood behind her and patted her back. Draco stood in front of her and nudged her face up with his finger.

"Tell you what, let's get home, and then we'll sort everything, out, 'right?" she finally commented to them all.

She held out her hand to Ron. He smiled and held out his. They shook hands, but then he pulled her to him, hugged her, and kissed her cheek.

Harry smiled. Draco grimaced.

Hermione asked, "How did you get that nifty suit if you can't do magic here?"

"I can do magic," Ron countered. "I came up with this costume, and it's hotter than hell. Harry can do magic, too, because I saw him use magic when he thought I wasn't looking. Apparently, Malfoy can do magic. Why can't you?"

Hermione looked over toward Harry. "Why can't I, Harry? I could in the beginning, but now I can't."

"That was Luna's idea, not mine, and if we see her again, I'll ask her to change it, okay?" Harry said to appease her.

Draco lifted both eyebrows and said, "Yes, she did a nifty little spell to deactivate your wand, which I didn't know was possible, after you tried to kill the Umbridge look-a-like. I offered her a job with my company. We could use people like her, and a spell like that."

"You're not stealing Luna from the Ministry. A spell like that should be used for the Ministry only, by Aurors and such," Harry retorted.

"I only want her for her mind, Potmouth. You can have the rest of her." Draco rolled his eyes. "Let's get to this gate so I can prove to Granger that the gatekeeper and the Wizard are two different people."

Harry and Ron walked slightly ahead of the other two, Crookshanks running beyond them. Hermione looked toward her left. Draco was walking to her left. Her left hand was still firmly in his right. She didn't know if she should comment on it. She knew she didn't want to pull away.

"I hear you like me, Malfoy," she teased. She looked at him and smiled.

He winked at her, brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the top of it. He pulled her to a stop. Placing the hand that was in his behind his back, he grabbed her other hand, placing it there, too. Then he placed both his arms around hers, so that they were embracing. "I might like you somewhat, Granger."

"I heard you like me a lot," she said, still smiling.

"Your source might be faulty. I will only admit to liking you a little bit, at least, until I hear something concrete from you." He smirked after he said it.

"You want to hear something 'concrete' from me you say?" she asked.

He nodded in confirmation. It was a day for people to nod their responses.

"Could I perhaps show you instead?" she inquired.

He smiled. "Whatever your heart desires, since you do have a heart, Dorothy." Her skin was so pale, like ivory. There was a soft blush to her cheeks. A gentle wind rustled her hair slightly. He brought a hand up to smooth it down, then kept it there, moving it to cup the back of her neck, pulling her closer, as if he needed to pull her closer. She would have moved on her own accord.

She studied him with a gaze that reflected years of knowledge and a lingering questioning.

Then soft lips were upon his. So soft they felt like wind, or rain, or dew, or a dream. They were tentative, hesitant, curious, and seeking. His were pliant, warm and wanting. Her breath became mingled with his, her arms moved from the trap of his, to twine around his neck, and he felt lost in his desire and love for her.

Fine, he loved her. He wasn't really a tin man. He was Draco Malfoy, and though most thought he was incapable of feeling, he had a heart. It could love. It could break. It could feel, and it felt her. He felt her. Her mouth on his, her breasts against his chest, her legs against his legs. He pressed on her back, pressing her ever closer. His mouth moved to rain kisses down her face, around her jaw, to her neck. She gasped in pleasure. He ached in pain.

They stood a few minutes more, wrapped in each others arms, mouths seeking each others pleasure, when something odd happened. The sky turned dark, and a loud cackling sound was heard overhead.

In his Hermione induced haze, Draco finally pushed her away, and then pushed her behind his back, as a phantom of his Aunt Bellatrix appeared before them, laughing and howling in all her former glory. Hermione sucked in air, grabbed Draco's arm, and wished that she could use magic.

She also wished Harry and Ron hadn't walked so far ahead.

"Who are you?" Draco asked. The wicked witch of the east was dead, the wicked witch of the west was Umbridge, and so who could this evil woman represent, besides Hermione and Draco's worst nightmare?

"Why, I'm your worst nightmare come true, my dear nephew," she said as a response, as if reading his mind.

Draco reached behind him for Hermione's hand and said quietly to her, "I don't think we're in Luna's little movie world anymore, Hermione."

"Neither do I, Draco," Hermione whispered back.


	10. 10 The Part wLions,Tigers and Bellatrix

**Chapter 10: The Part with Lions, Tigers, and Bellatrix, Oh My!**

Bellatrix Lestrange stood before them, in all her 'mad' glory, cackling as only she could do, her eyes never quite focusing on any of them, her wand swishing back and forth in front of her.

"Who are you?" Draco asked, pushing Hermione behind him. The wicked witch of the east was dead, the wicked witch of the west was Umbridge, and so who could this evil woman represent, apart from Hermione and Draco's worst nightmare?

"Why, I'm your worst nightmare, come true, my dear nephew," she said as a response, as if reading his mind.

Draco reached behind him for Hermione's hand and said quietly to her, "I don't think we're in Luna's little movie world anymore, Hermione."

"Neither do I, Draco," Hermione whispered back.

Harry rushed before them all and pulled out his wand. Hermione wasn't even aware that Harry had his wand with him, but she was glad that he did. She would be happier still if she had the ability to perform magic, even if this wasn't the real Bellatrix.

"Malfoy, get Hermione out of here," Harry said with a frown, his eyes staring intently at the dead woman's double.

"Itty bitty Potter wants to protect his itty bitty friends," the woman laughed.

"No, we won't leave you, Harry," Hermione shouted above the woman's maniacal laugh. Ron quickly pulled out his wand as well, and then changed all of their clothing back to what they were wearing at the time the 'nightmare' began, when they were last at the Ministry.

Draco looked down at his black suit and said, "Much obliged, Weaslebee."

"Well, I didn't much think we wanted to face evil personified dressed as movie characters," Ron concluded.

"Oh, look, Harry Potter and his little friends, the blood traitor and the Mudblood, are here with my dear nephew," Bellatrix tormented. She threw her head back and laughed louder.

Ron asked, "What does Luna mean by reproducing Bellatrix, Harry?"

"Haven't a clue, Ron, haven't a clue," Harry admitted, his eyes never leaving the woman.

"Draco, come say hello to your aunt Bella, boy. I haven't seen you in such a long time. Give me a kiss. The Dark Lord will be so happy that you've delivered Harry Potter and his friends to us, nephew," Bellatrix said, smiling.

Harry looked around. Before he could ask what that meant, Draco asked, "Do you mean to say that the Dark Lord is here?" He looked all around the forest, as did the other three.

"Of course he's here. Where else would he be, boy?" Bellatrix asked with her arms out wide. "You know we've been using your father's house as a temporary headquarters for a while now."

Draco looked back at Harry and the others, confused. He looked back toward his 'aunt' and said, "We're in the woods, you wacky, old bint."

As soon as he said it, the woods faded away. Hermione felt disoriented and queasy. She reached out her hand, toward Draco, to steady herself. When her hand hit something solid, it wasn't Draco's arm, or chest. It was a solid wall. She gasped, and then immediately noticed Harry and Ron were separated from her by bars. They were inside a small, dank, dingy cell.

She didn't see Draco anywhere. She ran up to the cell and started to speak to her friends, when she realized something was terribly, terribly wrong.

For one thing, Harry and Ron looked years younger. For another, they looked just as they had the year they searched for Horcruxes…tired, gaunt, thin, dirty, and old beyond their tender years. No. This could not be happening.

Then she heard an awful scream - a gut wrenching, heart-piercing, knife welding scream in which she recognized immediately. It was her. She was the one screaming, yet she was standing silently, passively, staring at the scene before her.

Again, she thought one awful thought. Don't let this be real. She couldn't live this time over again.

She turned to look at Harry, who had a hand on Ron's shoulder. Ron's face was twisted in agony. Every time a scream was heard from the upper part of the Manor, Ron's face would twist in deeper agony, as if he too could feel Hermione's pain, until finally he began to scream as well. He pushed at Harry. He cursed. He screamed for Hermione. Then he began to cry.

Hermione never knew that happened. To be truthful, she wasn't aware of a great deal that happened after her persecution and torture that day. In a way, to this day, she even forgot about the pain. It was the way her mind worked to protect itself, to help her to cope, and help her forget. Still, neither Harry nor Ron had ever told her how her tortured by Bellatrix at Malfoy Manor during the war had distressed them at the time. Now she knew. Now she felt ashamed that she had ever doubted Ron's love, faithfulness, and friendship. She had been a fool.

Watching the younger Harry and Ron cry for the younger Hermione, _she_ began to cry, and then she closed her eyes.

When she opened them, she was no longer in the dungeons with Harry and Ron. She was still in the Manor, that she was certain, but now she was standing next to a younger Draco Malfoy. This was the Draco she remembered, and disliked, from school. Tall and lanky, blonde bangs hanging slightly longer in the front, dressed all in black…well, that part was the same. He was standing beside his father, aunt, mother and other Death Eaters. On the other side of the room was a bedraggled looking group. It was Harry, Hermione and Ron, as they appeared right after they had been picked up by the snatchers.

Harry's face was swollen and unrecognizable, due to a spell Hermione had inflicted on him so that the snatchers wouldn't know it was him. Lucius and Bellatrix were arguing, trying to decide if the three people before them were indeed Harry Potter and his friends. They weren't sure. Neither wanted to call Voldemort until they were 100 percent accurate.

"You should know, Draco," Draco's aunt said to her nephew. "Tell me; are those three Harry Potter, the blood traitor Weasley, and the Mudblood?"

Hermione had forgotten all about this. All she remembered from that day was extreme fear. She also recalled that Draco had confirmed their identities to his family, but watching it over now, she knew her memory of this incident was faulty, too, because Draco refused to look up at them, opting instead to look at the floor. He answered, "I don't know, Aunt Bellatrix. It might be and it might not be."

"What do you mean, you don't know, Draco?" his father asked, appalled. "You went to school with them. Surely you must know. Take a closer look. This looks like the Mudblood at least, and the ginger hair on that one…that's a Weasley," his father said.

"Maybe, Father," he said quietly, looking up quickly, fleetingly, then back down to the ground. "It could be. I'm not sure. It doesn't really look that much like them."

"Take a closer look, boy! Don't be so indecisive!" Bellatrix insisted. "We have to know for sure before I call the Dark Lord."

"Do not presume to tell my boy what to do, Bellatrix, and who's to say you'll call him? It's my house," Lucius said. The two began to argue between themselves. Hermione observed Draco as he looked up once more. He looked over at the other Hermione and her friends. Then he looked back down. His father finally turned back to him and said, "Tell me now, Son, can you tell if that is Harry Potter or not?"

Hermione finally realized something, watching the young Draco. He was just a boy. Just as they were young at that time, so was he. He looked scared. It had to have been scary, living in a house with the Dark Lord, and this evil, crazy woman, and to have a Death Eater for a father, not to mention the fact that they were all practiced at Legilimency. He couldn't have lied if he had wanted, and Hermione could tell that he actually did want to lie, but since he couldn't lie, he did the next best thing. He tried to evade their questions, by giving incomplete answers.

Hermione felt scenes changing again. This time, she wasn't sure where she was, but then she knew she was in the Manor still, in the same room where Bellatrix had used the Cruciatus curse on her that day. It was going on at that very moment. A younger Hermione was withering on the floor, tears streaming down her face.

However, Hermione didn't hear a sound this time. Everything was silent, as if the sound was turned down. Her eyes weren't watching the younger Hermione or Bellatrix anyway. She was watching Draco…who was watching the younger Hermione. He flinched, closed his eyes, opened them, and recoiled some more. Hermione looked over at her younger self, then back at Draco. She recognized that every time Draco cringed correlated with a 'scream' from the younger Hermione.

Then, the young Draco slipped out of the room, unnoticed. Hermione followed. He ran down the hallway. She ran after him. He ran up the stairs. She followed. He ran down two more long corridors. She had trouble catching up with him. She skidding to a halt inside a room she assumed was his childhood bedroom.

She stopped as Draco stopped. He bent over and threw up on the floor. Then he collapsed on his knees, hung his head, and cried.

She had no clue that he had, had this sort of gut-wrenching reaction to watching her torture. Why was he so upset? Why did he care? He hated all of them back then, didn't he?

Hermione felt so confused. Every preconceived notion she ever had was evaporating, as if they were mere smoke, and she no longer knew what was real and what wasn't.

She closed her eyes, held her head in her hands, and begged for it to end.

When she opened her eyes she was back in the woods, but she was alone. She called out to Harry and Ron, when she heard Ron calling back to her. Finally, someone else was nearby. She began to run toward his voice.

"Ron? Where are you, Ron?" She ran blindingly toward his voice.

She saw him in the dense woods. He was still calling her name. How could he not see her? How could he not hear her? "I'm over here, Ron!" she cried.

"HERMIONE! HARRY! PLEASE! Where are you?" Ron shouted. Tears made a path down his face.

Hermione ran up to him then stopped. She started crying anew. This was Ron from the year they searched for the Horcruxes. This was right after he left them. He had told her once that he regretted leaving, and that he searched for them right after he left them, hours and hours on end, but he became lost in the woods, and he could never relocate them. He didn't find them again until that day he finally came upon Harry as he was drowning in the lake.

He didn't lie about that. He had told her the truth. She had always assumed that was a 'convenient truth' or even, 'an inconvenient lie', but no, it was plain and simple, and it was the truth. She watched as the eighteen year old Ron sank to the ground, screaming her name once more. He yelled, "HERMIONE! I'm so sorry! Please, forgive me for leaving you! Where are you?"

She turned from that Ron and started to run. She ran and ran. She tripped over a tree root and when she looked up she saw Harry sitting by the front of the familiar tent flap, holding her wand. It was dusk. He was on watch. That must have meant that 'Hermione' was inside. Since he had her wand, it had to have been right after their battle with Nagini. If he was on watch with her wand that meant his wand had already been destroyed. She recalled her extreme guilt about that, and how Harry had been so angry with her. He didn't even thank her for saving his life that day. Instead, he mourned the loss of his wand. She remembered feeling sorry for herself because of that, because Harry was feeling sorry for himself.

She watched as the younger Hermione walked out of the tent. She said, "Harry, I cooked some mushrooms and wild onions. Do you want some?"

Harry sat stony-face, staring out at the forest, and he answered her in clipped tones. "No, Hermione. I don't want a thing."

"Do you want me to stand watch for a while?" she asked with a small voice.

"No," he said quickly.

"I can bring you some food and water out here if you'd rather, or an extra blanket. It's cold." She turned around to start back inside.

Harry retorted, "Just go inside, get some sleep, and leave me alone for a while. Don't come back out here; don't talk to me for a while. Leave me alone, please."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Hermione began to cry. He turned his face away from her, angrier still. "Harry?" she persisted. "I know you're upset about your wand."

He turned to her quickly and said, "GO INSIDE THE TENT!"

She nodded. "I really am sorry, Harry," she whispered again. She continued to cry and went inside. Hermione could hear her younger self crying from outside the tent, which meant that Harry would have been able to hear, too.

This scene evoked how terrible she felt that Harry's wand had been destroyed. She felt like a failure, because she felt she should have known it was a trap, and she should have protected Harry better. She knew he had every right to be angry with her, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. That was the darkest time during that year, having Harry angry with her, even darker then when Ron left them.

She started to back away from this sad memory when she saw Harry wipe a tear away. She wanted to tell him to get a grip…it was just a wand, when she heard him say in an undertone, "When will this be over? She doesn't deserve this. She did nothing to deserve this. She shouldn't be a part of this. She should have left when Ron left. I should have protected her better. She might have been killed. If anything had happened to her today, I would never have forgiven myself. I should be saving her, not the other way around. I should have known this was a trick." He wiped away another tear.

He looked back at the tent flap, closed his eyes, and willed her to stop crying. "Please, please, Hermione," he said with the softest of voices, because he was saying it to himself, "don't cry anymore. I can't stand for you to cry. I'm such a failure. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me."

Hermione gasped. Again…this was a revelation. She never once knew Harry felt the same things she had felt. His anger was directed at himself that day, not at her. She had been such a fool.

Why had he never told her? As soon as she asked herself that question, she answered it in her mind. Because he was proud. Ron was proud, Draco was proud, and Harry was proud. And she was proud. She thought of the old Proverb: 'Pride goes before the fall.'

_'Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoils with the proud.'_

Perhaps they should all ask the Wizard for some humility, if they ever got to see him. She turned away from the younger Harry, continued to cry profuse amount of tears, her head down, walking aimlessly in the phantom woods, not even knowing where she was heading, and no longer caring.

She walked directly into Draco Malfoy's arms. She looked up, surprised, saw that it was the real Draco, and practically collapsed in his embrace. He stroked her hair, her back, her face. He was relieved to see her. He said, "I've been looking for you everywhere. You wouldn't believe the things I've just seen."

"If they're anything like what I've just seen, I would," she said, sniffling.

Soon, Harry ran toward them. He didn't care if Malfoy was embracing Hermione; he embraced her too, so that his arms were around them both. He said, "You two wouldn't believe the things I've had to relive, and the things I didn't know happened the first time."

Ron ran toward them, and said, "Hey mates, I hate to get all mushy, but I've never been happier to see the lot of you in my life. I've just lived through some pretty terrible moments all over again, and all I can say is, gee, Hermione, no wonder you hated me when I left you back in the day. You and Harry had it really bad. I saw you two battle that large snake, and I saw how much you cried over my leaving. I even saw the stupid git, Malfoy, here, tossing his lunch on his expensive carpet over the fact that you were being tortured by his evil auntie."

"I never," Draco denied, pushing Harry and Ron away, while pulling Hermione closer with one hand.

"I saw that, too, and I thought it was one of the most endearing things I ever saw," Hermione admitted.

"You thought the fact that I vomited was endearing?" Draco said with a snarl. Then he thought about it and said, "Well, okay then." Hermione placed her hand on his cheek and smiled at him.

Harry revealed, "I saw Hermione go inside the tent after our fight with Voldemort's snake, and I realized that she thought I held her responsible for my wand being destroyed. I did, for a split second, but Hermione," he pulled her out of Draco's arms and into his own, "for the most part I was scared and sad that I had failed to protect you."

"I know, I saw that," Hermione revealed. She reached over for Ron with a blind hand. He took her hand and she pulled him toward her and Harry. "Ron, I'm so sorry that I've been unable to forgive you for leaving us all those years ago. I know you said that you tried to find us, but I never really believed you. Now, I saw it for myself. I'm sorry. I'll forgive you, if you forgive me."

He kissed her hand. "There's nothing to forgive, love. Hermione, you're my best friend, along with Harry, and I think we both know that's all we'll ever really be, right? I think you're in love with that heartless tin man over there, who must have some sort of heart after all, and I suspect he's in love with you in return, and if this loony episode showed us nothing else than that, then it was worth it."

"Hear, hear," Harry said. "Spoken like a very brave soul, Ron. You don't need the Wizard after all."

Hermione smiled at Harry and said, "And you've spoken like a very smart man, Harry." He winked at her.

"Accordingly is it agreed that none of us need the service of the bloody wizard now?" Draco asked. "Can we just go home and forget this nightmare?"

Harry pointed toward a high gate and said, "Whether we can go home or not is probably up to Hermione, because that's what she has to ask of the Wizard, and look, we seem to be right next to the Ruby City's gate suddenly."

"Thank heavens. Ron, you pick up Crookshanks. Harry, you get our basket. Draco, please take my hand," Hermione instructed.

"Do you need encouragement to knock on the gate?" Draco asked, bringing her hand up to his mouth to place a kiss on her wrist.

"No, I just want you to hold my hand," she revealed. She knocked on the gate with her other hand.

A small grate at the top of the gate slid open to reveal a man's face. He asked, "What the hell do you lot want?"

"OH NO!" Hermione shouted. She turned to the others and said, "If he's the wizard, we had all better find another way home right now!"

* * *

_A/N: I wonder who the Wizard is? Really. I do. I still haven't decided._


	11. 11 The Part where they meet the Wizard

**all characters belong to JKR**

**Part 11: The Part where they finally meet the Wizard, (Finally)**

Harry announced that they had just arrived outside the gates of the Ruby City. The small group of travelers looked up at the tall gate that held the entrance to the Ruby City and Hermione couldn't have been happier that they were finally there. She would immediately demand that they dismiss with certain parts of the movie…riding around in a carriage drawn by a horse that changes colour, for example. They could do without the boring part where they all get makeovers, especially as they were all now wearing regular clothing thanks to Ron.

They could do without the cowering in fear and the pretend awe at the fake 'Mighty Wizard of Oz' or in this case, 'Because' and she would suggest that they go find Umbridge's broom right off and then douse the old broad with a bucket of water to finish her off. Then they could all get what they needed, she could tap her heels together three times, and then they could all leave straight away.

As for herself, she felt her search was complete. She got what she came for, which wasn't what she thought in the beginning. At the start all she wanted was to go home. Now, all she wanted was to be with Draco. She looked at Draco's and suddenly she wanted to hold his hand.

After Harry announced their arrival at the gate, Hermione said, "Thank heavens. Ron, you pick up Crookshanks. Harry, you get our basket. Draco, please take my hand."

"Do you need encouragement to knock on the gate?" Draco asked, bringing her hand up to his mouth to place a kiss on her wrist. She felt all warm and mushy inside.

"No, I just want you to hold my hand," she revealed with a smirk to rival his any day. She knocked on the gate with her other hand.

A small grate at the top of the gate slid open to reveal a man's face. He asked, "What the hell do you lot want?"

"OH NO!" Hermione shouted. She turned to the others and said, "If he's the wizard, we had all better find another way home right now!"

The rest of the group reacted pretty much the same way. Draco recoiled in stunned surprise. Ron groaned aloud, appalled and shocked. Harry dropped his head in his hand and said, "Oh, Luna, please, what have you done now?"

"Well?" the man asked. "I obviously don't have all day. What the bloody blazes do you want?"

"Who are you?" Hermione demanded, dropping Draco's hand and pointing her finger in his face.

"What a rude, impertinent girl you've always been, Miss Granger," he snarled. "If I know who you are, surely you know me."

"Of course I know you, I just refuse to admit you're real, because you're not," Hermione said with exasperation. She looked at Draco and said, "Seriously, if he's the wizard, I say we work on getting ourselves home, because he won't be inclined to help three-fourths of us. We all know the story. Go find the broom from Umbridge, melt her with water, find the balloon, I wake up back at the Ministry, point at each one of you and say rubbish like, 'you were there and you and you,' and that's it!"

"But Hermione, I mean, if Luna made Snape appear, it might be for a reason. The last little episode was useful, to grant us all some sort of closure and to show us all empathy for each other. Maybe he's here to give us all closure, too," Draco said, regarding his former godfather, who was no longer alive in their world.

The man, to whom they were referring, huffed, folded his arms and said, "Five points from Gryffindor for speaking out of turn."

Ron said, "But Malfoy spoke, too. You shouldn't take points from Gryffindor because Hermione spoke and not take them from Slytherin!"

Draco sneered, "Don't be an effing moron, weasel. We aren't in school any longer!"

Harry leaned toward Ron and said, "Yeah, Ron, don't be dense, this isn't even the real Snape."

"Yeah, you effing idiot," Draco concurred.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for Potter's holier-than-thou attitude," Snape barked, opening the door to stand before them.

Harry looked outraged. "Draco called him a moron first!"

Hermione decided to take charge of the situation; otherwise they might be here all day or end up in detention! In addition, she knew that Draco might see the appearance of 'Snape' (at least this Snape, which appeared to be a copy of the one from Hogwarts) as a happy occurrence, while to the rest of them he brought up a plethora of mixed emotions.

She recognized that Draco had a different relationship with this man throughout their lives than the rest of them. Even though Harry and the rest of them later credited Snape for the hero they knew he was, the man before them wasn't the real Snape, as Harry said, so it was hard to see this man as anything other than the man who often made their lives miserable when they were younger.

Snape said, "Are you all going to enlightened me as to why you're here, and what you want, or are we going to glare at each other all day?"

Hermione said, "Tell you what, Professor, since you know us, and we know you, let's cut to the chase. We all want something from the Wizard of Because. We have reason to believe that man is you. You want Umbridge's broom, don't you? If we get it for you, will you help us to get home?"

Snape scoffed, his long nose pointing slightly down at her, and he said, "You always were an impudent, little know-it-all, Miss Granger. For your information, I am NOT the Wizard of Because. I could be if I wanted to be, but I am not. I am merely the gatekeeper, as I appear to be. Furthermore, I could care less about Umbridge's broom. Why would I want her broom? What would I use it for, sweeping up?"

Hermione leaned toward Draco and said, "I'm stumped. Find out what's going on. I'm going to go rest over there in the woods. I think I'm getting a headache." She walked away from the group, the gate, Snape and the Ruby City, and sat down on a tree stump not far away in the woods.

"Goodness, if she's getting a headache already, that doesn't bode well for our future sex life, does it?" Draco said with a laugh. He looked at Snape and said, "Am I right, or am I right?"

Snape laughed.

"That's out of line, Malfoy! Don't talk about her like that!" Ron spat. He went over to sit next to Hermione.

Harry shook his head and joined his friends. Snape said, "I never could stand the lot of them. How did you get thrown in with that motley crew?"

"Well, you may not believe it, Godfather, but I love the brainy one. That's Hermione, by the way. I just found out, sort of. I mean, I just admitted it, to her, that is," he said awkwardly.

Snape cocked his head to the side, motioning toward a bench that was along the wall. Draco sat down and Snape joined him. "I can barely believe you would lower yourself to love a Mudblood, Draco. What must your father think, boy?"

Draco stood right back up, turned around, incensed, and said, "Excuse me, Godfather, I hate to show you disrespect, whether you're real or not, but kindly refrain from calling her that word. I haven't used that word for many years. As to what my father would think, I wouldn't know, nor would I care to know. I'm not lowering myself by loving her. I'm raising myself high above the fray. She's too good for me, if the truth is known."

Snape's eyes softened, betraying his rough demeanor. They mitigated his words for a moment, and Draco realized it. Snape said, "And as to me calling you a boy, I see that statement was wrong on many counts as well. You are every bit a man now, Draco. You turned out very well, and I hope, on some small account, that I had a small part to play in that."

Draco sat back down. He lowered his arms to his knees, clasped his hands and said, "You did, Sir."

"Do people remember me fondly, in your world?" Snape asked.

Draco didn't know how to respond. Did that question mean that this Snape knew of his counterpart's fate? He said, "Yes, Sir, they know of the sacrifices that you made. You're a hero…a reluctant one; I'm sure, but a hero, every bit as much as Harry Potter and Dumbledore." Draco found that he had to swallow the knot that formed in his throat as he spoke these words of the sacrifices that Snape had made for all of them, especially him.

Snape responded, "I have one request of each of you, which you must do before you can leave this place. My request of you is twofold, actually. First, I want you to remember that you didn't kill Dumbledore. I didn't even kill Dumbledore, not really. The old man was dying, but that's neither here nor there. He was a noble man, the best man of my knowing, and he died for a cause he believed in, and he died for the greater good. We all did what we had to do, in times of trouble.

"The fact that you've forgotten the warped teachings that purebloods are better than Muggle-borns and half bloods tells me that you've learned much more than I could ever hope. I'm proud of you."

Draco couldn't look the other man in the eye. Even if this wasn't the real Snape, it felt like him, and Draco realized that he never got to tell the real Snape goodbye, and that had always bothered him, so he stood from the bench, afforded the man his due by looking upon his gaze, and said, "Thank you, Godfather, and you were an essential part of my becoming a man. A man who would someday be good enough for the likes of Hermione Granger, so again, thank you. Now, what's the second thing that I may do for you?"

Snape stood as well, shook his godson's hand, and then whispered something in his ear. Draco nodded and said, "I'll be sure to do that, Sir."

"Send Weasley over here next," Snape urged.

Draco walked over to the trio and said, "Snape wants to see you, Weasley."

Ron turned to face Draco and asked, "Why? What have I done?"

"Oh my stars, Weaslebee!" Draco exclaimed, "He wants to give you your assignment so that we can get home!"

"I have homework to do?" Ron asked, incredulously.

"SERIOUSLY, RON!" Hermione shouted before Draco could. "It's apparent that Snape _is_ the Wizard of Because, and we're bypassing a bunch of the movie's nonsense, by procuring simple tasks from him, to be completed before we can go home, for which I'm grateful. You should be to, because there's a makeover scene where the lion has to curl his hair and sing a stupid song with a broken flower pot on his head coming up next! Now, unless you want to prance around, curls and all, broken pot on your head, get your arse in gear, and find out your mission so we can all leave here, please!"

Ron moaned, but walked over to Snape.

"What do you have to do, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

He smiled, looked at Hermione and said, "I already did one, and the other one, my assignment, if you want to call it, is to come after we leave here, and is for me to know and for Hermione to find out, later." Hermione bit her lip to keep from smiling as Draco was staring right at her. He winked at her, pulled her closer, kissed her cheek, and then pushed her away.

Now it was Harry's turn to moan. He stood up and walked away from the pair.

"Get over here, Weasley; do you think I have all day?" Snape barked, standing up, and pulling down the cuffs of his shirtsleeves.

"I'm glad you don't," Ron mumbled under his breath.

"Fifty points for cheek," Snape leveled.

"FIFTY! That's bang out of line! FIFTY!"

"Then let's make it an even 100 points, shall we? Do you want to try for two?" Snape stared at Ron and when Ron shook his head no, Snape followed with, "Very well. Now, I have a few things to say to you, Ronald Weasley. First, you were an abysmal student, at best."

Ron shook his head in agreement. "Yeah, alright, I agree with that statement."

"You were pulled around by Granger and rode on her academics coattails for years," Snape continued.

"I have no problem admitting to that either," Ron acknowledged sincerely.

Snape snapped, "You played the bumbling sidekick to Potter, always in his shadow, relying on his decisions, afraid to make your own, the whole time you were in school."

Ron took a deep breath in his nose and asked, "And your point?"

"You're no longer in school," Snape said.

Ron said, "Gee, and you being a Professor and all, I'm surprised you figured that one out on your own."

"Two hundred for cheek," Snape said, though he fought a smile.

"Oh, come on! Wait, who cares. Take all the points you want. I'm not in school any longer," Ron decided.

Snape sighed and said, "Exactly. That's what I was trying to say. You aren't. And you don't ride on Granger's coattails any longer, and you're no longer just Potter's shadow. You're your own man. You proved your loyalty and your friendship many times over throughout the years. You proved your bravery, time and time again, actually. You would have taken the pain and hurt away from your friends if you could, and you still would, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, that's what friends do," Ron answered somewhat slowly.

"Then why do you sometimes still feel inferior, when you're not? You're as good as the rest. You're as smart as your brothers, you as brave as Potter, and as loyal a friend as Granger. You, Ron Weasley, may always see yourself as second fiddle, but you're so much more. Remember that. Now, for your task, I want you to protect your friends, and do what is right, even when things sometimes seem wrong, just as you always have. Remember that advice, and you'll go far."

"That's all I have to do?" He shrugged. "Sure, I can do that. And, thank you, Professor." He reached over and held out his hand. Snape shook it.

"Send over Potter," Snape insisted.

Ron laughed. "Oh…I can't wait for this!" Ron whistled from where he stood and said, "Oi, Potter, Snape wants you now."

"I could have done that, Weasley," Snape said with a sigh.

Ron laughed and when he walked by Harry he patted his arm and said, "It's not so bad talking to him after all these years."

"That's not the real man," Harry reminded. He approached 'Snape' slowly. "Yes, Sir?"

"Potter," Snape said, and then paused. "I have so much I want to say to you, and yet, so little, if that makes sense."

"Before you say anything, let me tell you something." Harry stopped, thoughtful for a moment, before he regaled, "I disliked you immensely for a very long time. I felt you treated my friends and me unfairly, but now I see you were trying to prepare me for the inevitable, just as surely as Dumbledore did. I felt you were unjust with your comments regarding my father. Now, as a man, I can see that my father had faults, just as we all do, and many of your memories of him were jaded because of your love for my mother, and your guilt in what happened to them in the end."

"Everything you did was at great risk to yourself, and was totally selfless. I'm not even sure I can say the same about what I did," Harry said, feeling misty eyed.

"Oh, Potter," Snape said, with a slight laugh. "Once again, you see things a bit skewed. I wasn't as selfless as you seem to remember, while you were just a boy, with the weight of our world upon your shoulders. I should have made that load lighter, instead of making it heavier. I apologize. However, that's not what I called you over to say. I called you over to say that I was proud of you, and I want you to remember that I actually always was."

"That means more to me than the apology," Harry said with a laugh. "Do you have a task for me, Sir? Something I must do, like the rest of my friends, before we can go home?"

"Yes," the older man said, nodding his head. "For once, Harry, put you first. Live for yourself. Find love and happiness. It's not a crime to want these mundane things for yourself, you know. You no longer have the weight of our world on your shoulders, although I dare say you still walk with a slight stoop. Stand up straight, Harry, caste off all that doesn't belong to you, and live for Harry for a change. It's what I wish I could have done."

Harry expelled a small laugh and said, "Goodness, you almost sound as if you're channeling Lupin for a moment."

"Now you've gone too far," Snape sneered. He offered his hand to Harry. Harry shook it, nodded, and Snape said, "Send me Miss Granger."

Harry walked up to Hermione, hugged her from behind and said, "It's your turn, Hermione."

Hermione stood, squared her shoulders, and walked toward the wizard waiting by the gates of the Ruby City. Having already heard from Ron and Draco part of what the man had said to them, she couldn't wait to hear what words of wisdom he wished to impart on her.

* * *

_*I think one more chapter should do us, don't you? Wonder what Snape will tell Hermione? Perhaps he will give her some hair styling tips. Wonder what he told Draco? Will they get home? Probably not…ha!_


	12. 12 The Part Where They go Home

**Characters belong to JK Rowling and slightly less to L Frank Baum**

**Part 12: The Part Where They go Home**

When Hermione thought of home, she often thought of a 'place' where she was safe and happy. Not that she equated 'home' with one specific place, actually. No, home was more a frame of reference, or a matter of thought. It wasn't a PLACE anymore than 'love' was hearts and valentines; it was more abstract than that. It wasn't a thing. It wasn't a place to dwell, or a mere domicile. It was a feeling, someplace deep in her heart, minus the valentines. In other words, _home was where the heart lies_.

It was with her friends. It was with her family. Sure, it was the house she grew in, and at Hogwarts, the Burrow, and being with Harry and Ron. And although all of those things represented her home, and was sorely missed right now, it wasn't the only thing she ever wanted **home** to be.

Someday, she hoped home would represent a husband and children of her own, in her own house. A place of her own in the sense that there would be a house attached to that family, yes. But, more than a mere four walls, a floor, a ceiling, mortar and bricks…it would be love, happiness, harmony, togetherness, caring, forever and ever, amen.

Hermione had many quotes about 'home' at her beck and call, and she would spout them whenever she felt melancholy or reflective. Sayings such as: 'home sweet home' and 'home is a shelter against all storms', 'home is not where you live, but where they understand you', 'Our feet may leave our homes, but our hearts never do'…Hermione had memorized almost all of them. Memorizing quotes about home made her feel closer to home, no matter where she might be.

It was one of the first words she learned to spell when she was three years old, along with 'cat' and 'dog'. Everyone always assumed it was easy for her to leave home when she was a little girl, because she didn't cry the first time she went to school, and because she was so excited to go to Hogwarts. That was because she knew she was merely trading one home, (her parents' house), for another, (school).

But it was also because she knew she was waiting…waiting for the day when she would finally have a home of her own.

No one would look at her and think that she was a sensitive type, and certainly no one would ever call her a homebody. No one would deem her domesticated. Her aunt Eleanor once told her she didn't have a 'domestic' bone in her body. But everybody would be wrong. Hermione Granger, working woman, professional, wonderful friend, over-achiever, only ever dreamt of one thing: A home of her own. Not a house, she had a house, but a home, in every sense of the word.

The three men had nice little chats with the fake Snape before Hermione did. Their conversations were insightful and full of infinite wisdom. Snape told each of them exactly what they needed to hear, so in a very real way, they each got exactly what they needed by coming here.

**Draco, the tin man**, didn't need a heart. He needed someone to tell him that he really belonged, and that he always did. He needed to be reminded that he wasn't the spoiled boy that he once was. That he was a grown man, who had been redeemed of his sins, and that he was worthy of love.

**Ron**, **the cowardly lion**, didn't need courage. All he needed was forgiveness for sins that weren't as bad as some perceived, committed by a boy, sent to do the job of a man, at a time when the world was crazy. He lived in the shadow of so many people for so long that all he needed was to walk in the sunshine on his own, and courage would find its way to him on its own.

**Harry,** **the lovable scarecrow,** didn't need a brain. Harry had the best instincts, the best common sense, and the best moral compass of anyone Hermione had ever met. He practically raised himself, yet he knew right from wrong, up from down, good from bad, innately. Magic was instinctive and inherent in him. He didn't need to learn in from a book. It was merely a part of him. No one else would have been able to battle Voldemort and win. It wasn't because a prophecy deemed it so. That prophecy could have been written about anyone. It was SO because it was HARRY, because HARRY was the smartest person Hermione Granger knew.

Therefore, everyone got what they needed and wanted, nay, desired, when they came here. Snape pointed them all in the right direction. Hermione couldn't wait to hear what words of wisdom awaited her. Snape was bound to tell her how she could finally have her home, and how all her dreams were about to come true.

Harry stepped away from Snape, walked up to her, hugged her from behind and said, "It's your turn, Hermione."

Hermione stood, squared her shoulders, and walked toward the wizard waiting by the gates of the 'Ruby City'. Having already heard from Ron and Draco part of what the man had said to them, and having overheard most of what he had to say to Harry, she couldn't wait to hear what words of wisdom he wished to impart on her.

Snape was waiting for her, arms folded in front of him, hook nose slightly in the air. He seemed to be peeved that she was walking so slowly. She picked up the pace, stood beside him, smiled, and said, "Well? What words of wisdom do you have to tell me?"

"You, Miss Granger, are the most insufferable know-it-all I've ever had the misfortune of teaching in all my years as a teacher," Snape said plainly.

Hermione frowned. A true frown. With her whole face. "WHAT?"

"You have a habit of telling people what you think whether or not they want to know, merely to make yourself look more knowledgeable, often even more so than you are! You have an insupportable habit of talking out of turn, you're petulant, cranky, and irritable most of the time, as much as you are irritating."

Before he could say another word, she interrupted, as he took a breath. "WHAT?"

"I know the one thing you aren't is deaf, so you've heard every word I've said."

"But…" She pointed toward the three men, all three of whom were standing nearby, watching, listening, and waiting, as shocked as she. "You, you told them the all bloody profound things. Things that they needed to know! Things that were weighing heavily on their minds and hearts! Things they should have already known, but needed you to point out to them! And yet, all you have to say to me is that I'm a know-it-all, insufferable, irritable harpy! Hell, I know that! Tell me something I don't know! I hardly need you to tell me that!"

"EXACTLY!" Snape said, his hands now on his hips, a smile on his face. "I hardly needed to tell Draco that he was no longer the spoiled son of a Death Eater. I hardly needed to tell Mr. Weasley that he was more than a mere appendage to his friends and family. I didn't need to tell Mr. Potter that the weight of our world was no longer on his shoulders! Do you know why I didn't need to tell them these things, Miss Granger?" He stared at her coldly.

"BECAUSE THEY ALREADY KNEW IT?" she shouted. "I just said that! Because you're not real, but merely a fabrication from this joint hallucination, or spell, or whatever the hell Luna has us under. Because you aren't even really here! Because the things you said to them were things that they already knew down deep in their hearts! Is that why?" She was actually shrieking by the end of her diatribe, the audible tone so high that Draco thought his ears might bleed.

"EXACTLY!" Snape repeated for the second time.

Hermione took a step back, as if she was sucker-punched. "And that means the things you just said to me are true, and things I already know, and those are apparently the most profound things that I'm to learn from this odyssey, right?" She felt as if she might cry.

Snape sighed. "Truly, do you believe that? Is that really what you've gotten from all of this?"

"Well, excuse me," she offered, "but I've had a really rough couple of days. Draco Malfoy tried to have my cat killed, Ron and Harry were going to have me arrested, a rather large bookshelf fell on my head, and I ended up in a warped, LSD laced version of the Wizard of Oz. Also, I'm slightly premenstrual." She couldn't help it, she started to cry.

"What's LSD?" Draco asked. Ron shrugged.

Harry laughed and said, "In this case I think it stands for "Luna Sadistic Dream."

Hermione pointed to Harry and said, "He is smart, because that's exactly what it means in this instant!" She sniffled. Draco walked over to her, placed his arm around her and patted her shoulder.

"Really, Godfather, can't you impart some sort of words of wisdom to her?" Draco asked. He pulled her completely into his arms and stroked her hair.

"At least tell us how to get out of here," Ron imparted.

Snape looked bored with the whole thing. He snarled, opened the gate to the city, and when he was partly inside the gate, he turned around and said, "Miss Granger knew the way home the entire time. All she has to say is her favourite all time quote about home. It's all she's had to do all along."

Hermione pushed away from Draco's chest and pointed to Snape before he could close the gates to the city. "NO!" she barked. "I tried that in the beginning. I clicked my heels together, in these stupid sapphire slippers, and I said the phrase, 'there's no place like home' three times and nothing happened, so don't try to put all of this off on me! It's your fault, you benign, nonentity, counterfeit bogus, Snape! It's not my fault! I wish someone else had been the wizard, not you! Anyone but you! You were never helpful to me! You never gave me any answers! If I ever wanted to know something, I always had to find it out myself! You were never of any help to me growing up!"

Snape opened the door so quickly it shocked Hermione. He rushed her. She slipped and fell. He pointed his wand right at her chest. Draco stood by, shocked, unsure what to do, even if this wasn't real. Harry pulled out his wand, as did Ron. They both aimed their wands at Snape.

"Oh, really, Miss Granger? No help at all, you say? Perhaps that's your answer, then! And really, aren't you going to take any of the blame? Think very hard about this for a moment, before you start to blame me or anyone else. You're right. You usually got yourself out of scrapes. You usually got EVERYONE out of their odd predicaments and troubles, so you should be able to get yourself home! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and THINK!"

He started to turn away, but turned back quickly, and said, "And actually, I did help you. I told you to say your favourite quote about home. Is _'there's no place like home'_ really your favourite quote about home, Miss Granger? Really?" He snorted, put his wand in his long robes, and strolled back to the gates. He rushed inside and left them all standing outside the gate, dazed and confused, still in an LSD haze.

Draco walked over to Hermione and helped her to stand.

Harry helped her to brush off her clothing.

Ron said, "What's your favourite quote, Hermione? Think really hard."

She looked at the three men. She loved all three, two since childhood, one only very recently, and she felt slightly ashamed. She did have a favourite quote about home, and the truth of the matter was she was very, very tempted, right in the beginning of this mess, to click her heels together and say HER favourite quote, instead of the quote from the movie, but she didn't.

Did the power to go home, or rather, to leave this nightmare, really rest with her the entire time? If so, than she had been such a fool.

She looked at Harry. His intelligence awed her. She looked at Ron. His bravery and friendship overwhelmed her. She looked at Draco. Her love for him was vast and there was something in him that lured her to him, and to this place, and to this one conclusion.

She wanted a family. She wanted a home of her own. She wanted it with him. She reached out for him. He caressed her hand between both of his, and then caressed her arm. Her eyelids closed slowly. She felt mesmerized, under his touch. She wanted him. She had never wanted anything more.

She trusted him, which surprised even her. She wanted to marry him, which ASTONISHED her. He was looking at her hand, still gloved in one of his. Her fingertips of her other hand came over and drifted across his cheek and jaw. "I want to marry you, Draco. I want to have a family and a home with you." He looked her right in the eye, mouth agape, unsure what to say to that declaration.

She said, "Home is with the person that you love, and that's you, Draco. I've known it for a very long time. I wouldn't admit it, but it was so. I knew it in my heart, even if my brain resisted it. I even thought it earlier. _Home is where the heart lies, and my heart lies with you_."

A shimmer of shock, then hope, then recognition flashed in his eyes. He looked at her with the warmest eyes she had ever seen. Then suddenly, everything fell away, and she understood. She didn't need to say anything more. Her honest, clear, emotional admission was enough to end the nightmare, so that their dream could begin.

She closed her eyes. The weight of it all felt heavy on her. She felt as if she might collapse under the strain of it. The old memories were put in a corner of her mind, and she opened a new place in her heart, a place of peace, happiness, and a place that she could finally call home. "Take me home, Draco," she whispered. "Take me home."

He pulled her closely, into his arms, into his heart, her cheek to his chest. When she woke up, she was lying upon a pile of books in the archives of the Ministry. Draco was lying beside her, holding her tightly against his chest. Ron was sitting beside them. He moved some of the books from beside her. Harry sat at her feet. With his wand, he moved the bookshelf that had fallen on top of her. And Crookshanks mewed and curled into a ball, to lie next to her hip.

Draco pushed some of her hair away from her face. She opened her eyes. She looked up and touched Draco's face quickly, a fleeting touch. She said, "I just had the weirdest dream." She looked around her. She saw that she was back in reality, but she didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Did these three men really share her 'dream' or was it all merely that, a dream, and nothing more?

Trying to sit up, Draco held her against his chest. She said, "I was in a weird place, and it was like 'The Wizard of Oz', except it was all altered and confused. And you were there," she pointed at Harry, "and you," at Ron, "and you." She pointed to Draco last. "Oh please, tell me you all were really there. It would make everything so much easier."

"Sorry, Hermione, I really don't know what you're talking about," Harry said. He knelt beside her and said, "Perhaps you hit your head." He reached over and felt for a bump.

"Really?" She felt devastated. If none of this was shared by any of these men that meant Draco might not even love her, although he was holding her very tightly against his body. She looked over at Ron and said, "Ron, your family was the munchkins. Remember when I forced you to watch that movie? And you were the lion, Harry was the scarecrow and Draco was the tin man. Was it all really just a dream?"

Ron merely gave her a sad smile, and then looked at Harry, who looked at Draco.

She looked up at Draco. Her head was on his shoulder. "Weren't you at least there?" she asked.

He shook his head no.

She felt like crying again. "You weren't?" she asked sadly.

"No, sorry, Granger," he apologized. "Listen, you did hit your head really hard. That whole shelf fell on you. Let Pothead take you to St. Mungo's alright."

She pushed away from him, and started to cry. "But that means you're really going to take my cat away from me." She cried harder. Turning to Harry, she said, "And you're planning on helping him, and if I don't comply, you're going to arrest me." She struggled to stand.

"Don't stand yet," Ron urged.

She didn't heed his warning. She stood, though she stumbled slightly. She called for Crookshanks. He rubbed against her legs. She bent down and picked him up. "And that means," she began, tears still falling, "that I'll never have a real home."

"You have a house, Hermione," Ron said.

"I'll take you there, now," Harry promised.

"And you can keep your monster," Draco added, pointing to the cat in her arms.

She nodded slightly. She let Harry help her step over books and debris from the fallen bookshelf. She looked back once, and said, "Draco?"

"What, Granger?" he asked, while brushing off his trousers.

"Could you look at me for a moment?" she urged.

He looked up at her.

"I know this won't make sense, in view of the fact that nothing that I dreamt was real, but first…do you truly promise me that nothing I dreamt was real?"

"I promise, Granger, nothing was real," he said softly. He stepped closer. "Don't worry. Everything will be okay."

That was the worst thing he could have said. That was the one thing she didn't want to hear. If there was something he could have promised her, why did it have to be that NOTHING WAS REAL? That meant that he didn't love her.

Wait, that didn't mean that NOTHING was real. _Something was real._ Even if everything she experienced was due to a head injury, or a hallucination, it didn't mean that the things she felt weren't real. She walked away from Harry, handing him Crookshanks first, and stood in front of Draco.

"There's one thing that occurred while I was away that I know was real, Malfoy," she said so softly that only he could hear.

In fact, he had to lean closely to hear her. He looked at her earnestly, and asked, "What's that, Granger?"

"This." Her heart rose to soaring heights as her fingertips reached up to feather strands of his hair away from his face. Rising up on tiptoes, she placed her hands on his chest for support and kissed him. Her lips lingered against his, her heart leaping wildly in her chest. A jumble of emotions went through her. At first, he didn't respond, so she felt remorse and fear. Then he placed his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his body, and she felt happiness and warmth.

Another kiss came right after the first, but this one was ruled by him, not her. He kissed her furiously, with determination, and clear possessiveness. She arched against him, and his hands caressed her back and hair.

They pulled away at the same time. They looked at each other, shocked. Harry stood behind her. He laughed and said, "God bless Luna's warped soul."

Ron said, "My eyes! I think I'm blind now, Harry. The image is burned in my retinas."

And Hermione Granger said, "The one thing that remains true in this world as in that world, even if you weren't really there, and even if you weren't aware of it, is that I love you, Draco Malfoy. I love you so very much."

"Damn, Granger. Right before you woke up Potter told us to deny that we were under Luna's spell with you, in case you thought it was all an illusion, but I should have listened to my heart, instead of listening to his head. Perhaps his head really is full of sawdust. Snape should have given him a brain after all. I already know that you love me, you ninny, and I love you, too."

She smiled and held him tightly. "Then it was all real? And you were all really there with me?" she asked.

"We were there," he agreed. "As to the real part, it was as real as Luna could make it, but I rather prefer being here to there, Granger. It's good to be home."

"Home is where the heart lies," she said against his chest. "That's my favourite phrase about home, did you know?"

"No, but it's a good one, and it's appropriate, because my heart lies with you. Why don't we go home and talk about hearts and things some more. Tell me Granger, does this home of yours have a bed?" Draco asked. He took Crookshanks from Harry, plopped him in the basket, handed the basket to Hermione, took Hermione's other hand in his, and they walked out of the archives, hand-in-hand.

Ron sighed. He looked at Harry and said, "I was hoping this story would have a happy ending, but it looks like we're stuck with Malfoy."

"It's a happy ending for them, Ron," Harry said, with a smile. "Now, I think I need to find Luna." He patted Ron's arm and walked away, whistling.

Ron looked around the mess in the archives and called out, "Who's going to clean up all these books?"

_The End_


End file.
